Unhealthy Marriage Patterns: You Can end the Damaging Fear Dance

2020-05-10T18:43:33+00:00Emotion, Fear|

While sitting down to write this post about unhealthy marriage patterns, I was reminded of a movie scene where an overweight man was lamenting how big he had gotten. He said, “I eat because I’m unhappy, and I’m unhappy because I eat. It’s a vicious cycle.” I bring this up because, as humans, we have a tendency to fall into all sorts of cycles or patterns in everyday life — many of which are not only damaging but can feel never-ending. A perfect example of an unhealthy marriage pattern is the damaging fear dance. As couples, we fall into well-worn patterns when our fear button gets pushed. We’ve written a [...]

OOPS! Did I Push Your Buttons?

2018-05-03T19:25:11+00:00Conflict, Fear|

Do you and your spouse get into those “cycles?” Those patterns that seem to go round and round to where it feels like you just keep pushing each other’s buttons? Take heart, you are not alone! Almost all couples create cycles over time that can keep them on the proverbial roller coaster of relationships. The Fear Dance The “destructive dance” most couples get into generally stems from some source of fear. Men and women alike have basic core fears. The two most basic fears are: • Loss of power, or feeling controlled. This is usually a man’s greatest fear. Men want to feel they are good at what they do, [...]

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