Emotion

How to Avoid Disconnect with your Spouse, using Emotional Intelligence

2019-05-10T19:25:27+00:00Emotion|

OOPS! Your Feelings are showing! Ever been in a conversation with your spouse and before you know it the tears are just flowing. Or their face turns red and the anger and escalation just pours out! Maybe the shoulders slump, the face goes down and now your partner is leaving the room in a hurry. Can you relate? What’s happening? In situations like these we usually are aware of the actions or behaviors our partners are exhibiting. But we rarely perceive the emotions that are being experienced, much less understand what is really taking place deeper inside our partner. Often while working with couples, as they process difficult experiences together, [...]

The Hidden Secrets of Great Communication

2019-04-13T21:23:23+00:00Communication, Emotion|

Effective communication requires skills that are developed through practice, and that are perfected through trial and error!   Most couples who are having difficulties in their relationship feel their communication is the problem. But verbal communication is complex. Misunderstandings are common and normal. We all need patience and practice to become great communicators. Real communication happens when there is winning, and teamwork. Winning is finding and implementing solutions that both people can feel good about! This takes an open mind, good attitudes toward each other and plenty of sacrifice and compromise.  Do you consider you and your spouse a “team”?  If so, then day-to-day life is teamwork! Teamwork means there [...]

Pathways to Emotional Denial or Emotional Health

2019-02-15T22:21:26+00:00Emotion, Identity|

Just the other day, I was wondering how I go from “something happening” to “getting mad”, at warp speed.  Do you ever feel this way?  Made me want to explore this lightening speed emotional roller coaster so maybe I could prevent saying or doing things that I regret later. So, I went to my immediate expert – Mike Dawson to talk about how this happens in our human brains and how, perhaps, understanding the process might help keep my foot out of my mouth… Mike explained the way the brain process works this way.  First you have an event, something that happens, then you think about how you’ll react to [...]

10 Question Quiz for Emotional Intelligence or EQ?

2018-09-29T22:38:33+00:00Emotion|

Do you ever wonder, “Could I be better at what I do daily?  Is there a way for me to get ahead in life that won’t take a year of therapy?”  Possibly…. Below is a 10 question quiz which will give you an idea of the skills of Emotional Intelligence.  This is not a comprehensive picture but merely a beginning.  The subject is vast – many books have been written on this subject (also called EQ).  These questions were designed by the author of Emotional Intelligence – A Practical Guide, David Walton.  I found it fascinating and hope you do to.  This could be the “Get Ahead Ticket” you’re looking [...]

Turning Regret Into Gratitude

2018-06-29T12:08:56+00:00Emotion|

“It’s not joy that makes us grateful, its gratitude that makes us joyful.” Ever have regrets? Carry them around with you all the time? But, what about the value of your regrets? Value of regret?  If you are like most of us, regrets usually lead us toward a foul mood. They make us feel like a failure, and it is hard to take our minds off of the negative circumstances and events that we now regret. Regret tends to make us focus on ourselves and becomes self-condemning, that feeling of being a failure. When we focus on our performance, it is easier for us to look for ways to improve [...]

Watch out! Anger is on the Loose.

2018-05-25T19:30:13+00:00Anger, Emotion|

A common occurrence in many couples or family interactions is anger. We generally think of it as a behavior more than an emotion. But anger is, first of all, an emotion and one that we ALL experience at one time or another. We have said it before. It is important to differentiate between the feeling of anger and the expression and behavior of anger! This feeling is also a reaction to a perceived threat. It is not just a single emotion but ranges on a continuum from annoyed, frustrated, upset, irate, furious, and enraged. In addition to a wide description of emotions, it also has many other characteristics. Definitions of [...]

There’s A World of Difference Between Throwing a Tantrum and Having Anger

2018-05-11T18:24:36+00:00Control, Emotion|

We’ve all experienced these scenes of emotion. This makes me feel extremely uncomfortable since I’m the gal who is always trying to make everything peaceful so people will get along. Blog from Seth Godin – A note to the customer who just had a meltdown. Or the bride without a perfect wedding. Perhaps the rental car customer who had to wait twenty minutes. To the boss who’s furious that the delivery wasn’t as promised. We heard you. We, as in the people you were seeking to impact, and we as in the rest of us as well, the innocent bystanders. Actually, we heard you the first time. Ever since then, [...]

Bottom-line Why you FIGHT!

2018-04-13T16:42:17+00:00Conflict, Emotion|

You’ve heard authors, TV personalities, even preachers say, “Just fight fair. We know you’re going to fight, but don’t hurt your spouse when you do.” Let’s define fighting. Fighting IS: adrenaline is pumping tempers are hot emotions are frazzled words are flying around like poisoned darts Not hurting your spouse during this type of exchange is almost impossible. Because of the highly emotional state, things typically are said that hurt your spouse and your relationship. You can disagree (i.e., have conflict – everyone has conflict) about something and have a rational conversation that leads to resolution. Just don’t let it turn into a mud-slinging, name-calling fight. Fighting isn’t going to [...]

Can shutting down Emotion help me stay in control?

2018-01-05T21:47:53+00:00Control, Emotion|

Emotions are essential to all logical decision making.  Years ago it was commonly accepted that our brain had a reasonable side and an emotional side.  The thought was that we controlled our emotions with reason.  So how can we handle our emotions and still make high level decisions? It’s the last week of the quarter and sales numbers are not where they should be according to the goals set by corporate.  The regional office is buzzing with activity as all associates are trying to close that last deal to make those corporate goals.  There’s electricity in the air that you can almost feel as everyone is digging in to find [...]

Saying “Hello” and “Goodbye” Could Energize Your Marriage

2017-10-26T17:51:54+00:00Communication, Emotion|

Scene: Wife is scraping dried pasta off the stove top from 3 days ago. The dog needs to go outside and ends up peeing on the kitchen floor. One kid in a high chair flings peas at the dog. Another kid in the living room spills something red from a sippy cup on the carpet. Husband comes in and says, “Whatcha’ been doing today?” Now, most of us girls would say, “Are you freakin’ kidding me? Can’t you see what I’m doing?”  Neither communication is the most loving or observant.  But at the moment it may be the best communication you can muster. Am I RIGHT? Fortunately, or unfortunately, however [...]

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