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Understanding The Father’s Heart

2021-05-14T20:59:50+00:00Identity, Relationships|

Following up on our blog from last week on prayer, Susan and I wanted to share a powerful lesson from Valley Creek Church called The Father’s Heart. So many times, couples forget who they are and get caught up in what they have TO DO and what God wants them TO DO that they begin to lose sight of their identity and purpose. In other words, who they are, and who they have been created to be. This visual below and the script that goes with it are a great way of reminding us that we shouldn’t be thinking in terms of “earning” our way into God’s presence or in [...]

Healthy Marriage Relationship starts with a Healthy YOU!

2021-04-04T19:18:58+00:00Emotion, Relationships, Uncategorized|

A healthy marriage starts with two healthy people. What we mean by that goes beyond eating right and exercising, though those are still two very important things. More importantly, it means thinking the right way about your marriage, learning to self-soothe, practicing good self-care, influencing your partner, and being emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy. We’ve touched on this over the previous four blogs, which on the surface were about improving relationships but really focused on how being the best YOU inevitably makes your relationship great. Your marriage can’t be healthy if only one of you subscribes to that mindset. As they say, it takes two! And If you’re both healthy [...]

4 Ways To Repair Broken Trust In Your Marriage

2020-04-22T18:49:23+00:00Relationships, Trust|

Married couples put so much time and effort into building and maintaining trust in each other that you’d think they could withstand anything life throws at them — including when one spouse’s trust in the other has been broken. But the reality is that even in the strongest of unions, trust is fragile. And once it’s broken trust is difficult to repair.   There are many ways for trust to be broken in a marriage. Some are big, and some aren’t. Yet they all feel massive. One spouse is caught continuously lying to the other A constant string of broken promises Infidelity or emotional cheating Not being there for your [...]

Trust in a marriage: How to build a friendship that lasts

2020-04-22T17:27:30+00:00Friendship, Trust|

We hear people who are deeply in love say all the time, “My spouse is my best friend!” Great! That’s the way it should be. We should be best friends, from the very early “puppy love” stage of our relationship all the way through our gray-hair years and beyond. Friendship is one of those core things necessary to build trust in a longterm, committed relationship. In our previous two blog posts, we touched on what trust is and how trust can be built and maintained — which includes exhibiting deep friendships. The goal of this article is to expand on the friendship conversation. There’s a lot packed into this post, [...]

5 Ways Trust is Built and Maintained in a Marriage

2020-04-15T23:11:52+00:00Relationships, Trust|

So, you’ve been together with your significant other for six years and decided last October to get married. Things are going great, and both of you feel like you have the trust game down pat. Trust is the foundation of any marriage, after all, so that must mean problem solved, right? Well, yes and no. While it’s great that you trust each other, it doesn’t happen once and for all. Trust is built and then maintained in a marriage.   Last week, we laid the foundation for a series of posts on trust by answering the question: what is trust in a marriage? Now that we know what trust should [...]

6 Healthy Tips To Establish Boundaries In Your Marriage

2020-03-26T22:48:41+00:00boundaries, Relationships|

Having to sit with someone and finally get what’s been bothering us off our chest is never easy, especially when that person is our spouse. It’s funny because, in the back of our mind, we know darn right that all healthy relationships have boundaries. Boundaries keep the good in and the bad out. Yet, we agonize over what the best way is to establish boundaries in our marriage.   “Should I be assertive? But I also don’t want to offend my husband.” “How will my wife react?” “How will my words be perceived?” “I shouldn’t say anything. Maybe I should just leave well enough alone!”   Boundaries are characterized by [...]

Do you listen to your spouse’s heart when it’s talking to you?

2020-02-13T20:04:17+00:00Heart, Relationships, Uncategorized|

Couples come to me regularly to discuss issues where they don’t see eye to eye — their finances or children or, you name it. Yuck! All of us can relate to that, right? It’s all too common for us to not see situations in the same light.  Our heart on that matter is not the same. We have different movies playing in our heads. We all make meaning according to our own personality and our own circumstances we have been through. Examples of the Heart of the Matter The wife says to her husband that he spends money too frivolously, and their conflict was dragging on because he insisted that [...]

5 Ways To Fall Back In Love With Your Spouse

2020-02-04T21:51:26+00:00Love, Relationships, Uncategorized|

We all remember when we couldn’t imagine spending a millisecond away from the love of our life. We’d hang out, talk on the phone until all hours of the night, go on trips, sacrifice time for each other, buy gifts, and even make up cute nicknames. It’s an amazing feeling to be that in love! But as we’ve written before, somewhere along the way — marriage, careers, children, etc. — we settle into routines, spend less time together, and are less intentional with one another. We lose sight of the expressions of love that made us feel so good about each other.  This may make you even begin to wonder, [...]

6 Ways To Manage Emotions In A Relationship

2020-01-22T21:49:44+00:00Emotion, Relationships|

A friend confided in us recently that he was finding it increasingly difficult to deal with his wife’s emotions, which lately had more ups and downs than a rollercoaster. She’d get upset, whether it was because of him, the kids, or some outside force she expected him to know about and immediately empathize with, and he’d freeze like a deer in headlights. Sadly, he’d accuse her of being ultra-sensitive because, well, he just didn’t get what the problem was, and she’d leave the room in a huff. It was interesting that he brought all this up since we talk to couples all the time about how to manage emotions in [...]

5 Ways To Have A Safe And Connected Marriage

2020-01-16T17:19:47+00:00Relationships, Safety|

Having your heart broken because of a bad relationship is something all of us can relate to, right? Few experiences hurt more or last as long — especially when it happens more than once. And as much as we want to sit in a dark room and cry our eyes out while eating a tub of cookie dough…it does little to ease the pain. So what we end up doing is building these invisible emotional walls to protect our hearts. And sometimes, we carry those barriers into a marriage. Protecting ourselves from unsafe relationships is natural, but God created us to be open and intimate with each other. We must [...]

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