michaeldawsonlpc@gmail.com

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So far michaeldawsonlpc@gmail.com has created 104 blog entries.

Pathways to Emotional Denial or Emotional Health

2019-02-15T22:21:26+00:00Emotion, Identity|

Just the other day, I was wondering how I go from “something happening” to “getting mad”, at warp speed.  Do you ever feel this way?  Made me want to explore this lightening speed emotional roller coaster so maybe I could prevent saying or doing things that I regret later. So, I went to my immediate expert – Mike Dawson to talk about how this happens in our human brains and how, perhaps, understanding the process might help keep my foot out of my mouth… Mike explained the way the brain process works this way.  First you have an event, something that happens, then you think about how you’ll react to [...]

Change your Relationship Stress and Distress Levels on the Fly

2019-01-18T19:53:05+00:00Stress|

Last time we said our stress really comes in levels.  And, understanding our stress is important because when we are NOT aware of the levels of our distress, we can feel powerless over it. But we can influence some control over our mental and emotional state when we can subjectively measure it. Using a SUDS can help us keep distress levels in perspective. It is useful to have a way of measuring your level of distress or anxiety. You can then become more in touch with your feelings, and can control them more effectively.   100 Highest anxiety/distress that you have ever felt 90 Extremely anxious/distressed 80 Very anxious/distressed, unable [...]

6 Simple Exercises to Lower Stress Successfully

2019-01-11T15:31:50+00:00Stress|

How awareness of stress and distress can help you live and love more successfully- Part I  How well do you understand your own stress? Most people don’t consciously differentiate levels in their stress. It’s usually a clean dichotomy of “I’m really stressed,” or “I am totally calm.” But our stress really comes in levels and there are many shades of gray. So what’s the problem with a “black and white” understanding of our stress? When we are NOT aware of the levels of our stress, we tend to feel powerless over our stress; and We aren't aware we can influence some control over our own mental and emotional state. The reality [...]

Why You Need to Celebrate!

2019-01-04T22:56:17+00:00Connection|

What went well in your relationship with your spouse last week? Are you aware? Can you remember? I am giving myself a challenge this year to “practice what I preach.” And I am hoping you take that challenge with me. Recently Susan has been reading me a number of things from her 5 year journal of fun things we have done in the past. Places we have gone, fun things we have done with family or friends or important events that happened in our lives. It reminded me that we need to be aware of the good things in our lives. It also reminded me it is how I begin [...]

Apologize Even When You’ve Done Nothing Wrong!

2018-12-01T03:02:02+00:00Attitude|

I had a friend who approached her husband with an issue not too long ago. She related to me she was calm, kind, communicated well and “did everything right.” She said he got defensive and said he was hurt by what she said to him. And so of course, then they proceeded to argue. “What else could I have done? I just don’t know how to talk to him sometimes.” My answer was: “Well, did you apologize? “What?” “Did you apologize? Did you say you were sorry?’ “What? Why would I do that? I didn’t do anything wrong!” I said, “could you just say you were sorry his feelings were [...]

Build a Blueprint for Positive Marriage Outlook

2018-11-15T16:25:43+00:00Communication, Uncategorized|

What’s your framework for your overall feelings, thoughts and outlook for your spouse? Do you have an underlying, pattern that you attribute to them most often? Is it mostly positive, or is it generally negative?   We cannot “get into” other people’s minds and we never completely know or understand them. And so, we watch them from the outside. We listen, observe their actions and attitudes and remember certain things about them. We develop patterns and summary conclusions and file away how we see them so that we get a psychological understanding of them. It’s a summary combination of feelings and thoughts about what that person thinks, feels, their attitudes [...]

Are YOU Robbing Yourself of Today by Worrying about the Future?

2018-11-02T13:37:55+00:00Focus|

Does it feel like you spend all of your time planning for the future? The next vacation Downsizing after the kids leave A job promotion or the next job Saving for the kids’ college education Retirement Traveling Long-term healthcare My mind and time seem to revolve around this future focus a lot. I’m not saying planning is bad, it’s necessary. But sometimes it seems to preoccupy my entire focus. Or I end up trying to fix a past mistake. That’s another circle of thought in which I can get trapped. How could I have done that better? What lesson did I miss in childhood that would have kept me from [...]

10 Question Quiz for Emotional Intelligence or EQ?

2018-09-29T22:38:33+00:00Emotion|

Do you ever wonder, “Could I be better at what I do daily?  Is there a way for me to get ahead in life that won’t take a year of therapy?”  Possibly…. Below is a 10 question quiz which will give you an idea of the skills of Emotional Intelligence.  This is not a comprehensive picture but merely a beginning.  The subject is vast – many books have been written on this subject (also called EQ).  These questions were designed by the author of Emotional Intelligence – A Practical Guide, David Walton.  I found it fascinating and hope you do to.  This could be the “Get Ahead Ticket” you’re looking [...]

5 Ultimate Steps to Emotional Safety in Your Marriage

2018-09-29T21:42:04+00:00Safety|

Last time we examined what a safe relationship might look or sound like; and what skills we can learn and practice to help the relationships in our lives. That if we are going to thrive, our marriages or other close relationships must remain a safe environment. This focus we are talking about is not physical, but emotional and relational safety. If you haven’t already, go back and evaluate what we said emotional and relational safety sounds like. Such as: My feelings, ideas, and concerns matter. We honor one another. Anger is not out of control. I don’t feel judgment, but understanding and compassion. Discover together what you do, or don’t [...]

Astonishing Power of a Safe Marriage

2018-09-28T06:31:42+00:00Communication, Safety|

A safe relationship. You might not know exactly what I mean by safety, but I bet you know what an unsafe relationship feels like. Do you have THAT person in your mind? The person that makes you feel scared, closed off, or even unimportant? Is that unsafe person your spouse? If so, ok, we have work to do. Hang in there. If that unsafe person is not your spouse, hang in too. There is a huge opportunity to learn and practice some skills that will help other relationships in your life AND protect your marriage. If you are going to thrive, your marriage must remain as a safe environment. What [...]

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