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Why couples should always start with the heart

2020-08-12T17:52:18+00:00Communication, Heart, Uncategorized|

Marriage is a gift from God. But no one said it was easy, even for those of us who think we have it all figured out. You know the feeling — one minute, everything is hunky-dory, and a shining example of a safe and connected marriage and the next, one or both of you is upset. There can be some really complicated “stuff” that got you to this point, and what makes matters worse is that even if you are both committed to working through it, you aren’t always sure where to start.  Most often we don't start with the heart. Here’s a tip from yours truly: couples should always [...]

What does every heart really desire?

2020-02-24T22:06:09+00:00Heart, Intimacy, Uncategorized|

If you’ve been following our blog, especially over the past month, you’ve probably noticed we’ve written a lot about the heart. Not the physical, pumping organ inside your chest but more about how couples need to treat each other’s heart as a treasure that must be honored and protected. The heart is at the center of everything we feel, think, and desire deep down — and what condition it’s in determines the quality of every marriage. So what does every heart really desire?   “Our lives are shaped by the things we desire.” — Thomas Merton   In their book, The Seven Desires of Every Heart, Mark and Debra Laaser [...]

Do you listen to your spouse’s heart when it’s talking to you?

2020-02-13T20:04:17+00:00Heart, Relationships, Uncategorized|

Couples come to me regularly to discuss issues where they don’t see eye to eye — their finances or children or, you name it. Yuck! All of us can relate to that, right? It’s all too common for us to not see situations in the same light.  Our heart on that matter is not the same. We have different movies playing in our heads. We all make meaning according to our own personality and our own circumstances we have been through. Examples of the Heart of the Matter The wife says to her husband that he spends money too frivolously, and their conflict was dragging on because he insisted that [...]

5 Ways To Fall Back In Love With Your Spouse

2020-02-04T21:51:26+00:00Love, Relationships, Uncategorized|

We all remember when we couldn’t imagine spending a millisecond away from the love of our life. We’d hang out, talk on the phone until all hours of the night, go on trips, sacrifice time for each other, buy gifts, and even make up cute nicknames. It’s an amazing feeling to be that in love! But as we’ve written before, somewhere along the way — marriage, careers, children, etc. — we settle into routines, spend less time together, and are less intentional with one another. We lose sight of the expressions of love that made us feel so good about each other.  This may make you even begin to wonder, [...]

15 Simple Ways to Reignite Your Love

2019-11-06T01:29:01+00:00Love, Relationships, Uncategorized|

When Mike and I met in college it was unusual circumstances.  His sister was a dorm mate of mine and introduced us the first time.  She gets credit for our meeting.  However, we didn’t get to know one another until a year later in a business fraternity.  It was lust at first sight and love at 2nd sight. WHEN YOU FIRST MET - REMEMBER!! It was magical when you and your spouse first fell in love.  As a couple, we were so sweet, passionate and patient with each other. Staying out for hours, walking across campus or sitting in the dorm lobby, just getting to know one another.  We talked [...]

Health Bonanza of True Marriage Happiness

2019-08-06T22:36:42+00:00Uncategorized|

I’m sure you have heard many times that wealth, fame and working harder really doesn’t lead to happiness. Most of us know that logically, although we continue to strive diligently for some of these. But, did you know “loneliness kills; that it is toxic to us?” Would you believe that living in a high conflict marriage is terrible for your health? Did you know a great deal of your brain health and functioning relies on you being in a good relationship? It actually “protects” your brain. The “clearest message” that came out of a 75-year Harvard study is that: “Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.” Robert Waldinger directed [...]

5 Habits for Good Mental Health

2019-05-31T18:24:12+00:00Mental Health, Uncategorized|

Good mental health! It’s a statement we hear quite often, but the reality of what really constitutes it is sometimes illusive. For most of us, the interplay of our thinking, emotions and behaviors must be taken into account for good mental health. It is often our misunderstanding of the interaction of these three that can cause some conflict, confusion, or distress.   People’s thoughts and perceptions of events or words strongly influence their emotions and behaviors.   It is not a situation or one conversation that determines how we feel, but the way we interpret or give it meaning. Most of us relate how we feel about events, things and [...]