What is the Purpose of Prayer and Why Do I Need More of it in My Life?

2021-05-14T17:47:24+00:00Communication, Personal Responsibility|

What does prayer look like in your life? Is it only at church on Sundays? Or, do you also interact with God at other times — maybe during a quiet time in the morning, while driving to work, or while sitting out on the patio? Prayer is incredibly important. We know that. We also know that personal contact with Jesus changes everything! Yet, many of us, myself included right now, may not be in the close, love relationship with Christ we would really like to be in. In fact, many couples we talk to are constantly distracted by the trials and problems of everyday life. As a result, their understanding [...]

How to Influence My Spouse and Understand Them

2021-04-04T16:55:43+00:00Communication, Conflict, Uncategorized|

Most marriage counselors will tell you that the best way to deal with and manage difficult conversations and differences between you and your spouse is to think in terms of being cooperative, seeking out understanding, and utilizing persuasion and influence. All of this is great — and true. But it’s also a bunch of “counselor talk.” What this really means is that you need to understand your partner’s point of view. Granted, that can be easier said than done — especially when you’re in the heat of the moment and both of you are thinking, “well, I’m right, and you are so horribly wrong.” But with the right attitude, finding [...]

Secrets to great couples communication: how to self-soothe

2021-03-22T23:59:50+00:00Communication, Self-Care|

Most people have heard the term self-soothing before, but very few of them actually know how to apply it to their lives. In fact, the majority of couples we work with — especially those with communication and conflict issues — simply don’t know how to calm themselves down when their stress levels are at their max and emotions are running rampant. Think about all the times this has happened to you. You’re in the middle of an argument with your spouse, and things are getting pretty heated. You’re both saying some pretty hurtful things when you literally lose it! You can’t think straight. Breathing is irregular and shallow. Palms are [...]

6 Keys or Secrets to Great Couple Communication

2021-03-03T17:54:34+00:00Communication|

We’ve thrown a lot at you over the last few weeks and months about great couple communication. Specifically, what it should look like, how to talk through conflict when it inevitably happens, and, of course, how all of this fits into the bigger picture of having a safe and connected marriage. Say it with us one more time — positive communication is vital in marriage! It’s the only way we can truly get to know our spouse and truly respond to each other’s wants and needs.   “Two things can destroy any relationship: unrealistic expectations and poor communication.” — unknown author   Keys to Great Couple Communication Susan and I [...]

Improving Communication with Daily Dialogue

2021-02-18T20:10:22+00:00Communication|

Our good friends Steve and Leslie love each other very much. They’ve been married for over 15 years, and they can’t imagine life away from each other. They truly are a cute couple. But one thing they’ve been struggling with lately is communication — specifically, breaking away from the “daily task” sort of talk and mix in some quality daily dialogue.   We’re sure you know the feeling, which is why we were quick to tell them that they aren’t alone. Many couples get caught in a cycle where they stop talking to each other about anything meaningful. Instead, it’s a lot of the everyday stuff like: Typical Daily Dialogue [...]

Conflict Happens. How will you and your spouse handle it?

2021-01-26T23:08:23+00:00Communication, Conflict|

We’ve said time and again that when it comes to communication in marriage, it is imperative that we truly listen and understand each other’s heart and then honor those inner needs and wants every day. Not only will we have a safe and connected marriage as a result, but we will easily handle conflict when it inevitably arises. But wait? If we are doing all of those things, conflict shouldn’t exist. Well, not necessarily. Conflict exists anytime two people interact, and it is not bad in and of itself. How you and your spouse handle it is the important part. So, to continue our ongoing discussion on positive communication, let’s [...]

Positive Communication: Intent vs. Impact

2021-01-26T22:25:05+00:00Communication, Connection|

Wouldn’t it be great to know that when you’re talking to your spouse, what you’re trying to say is received exactly how you intended? Of course, it would! Communicating would be so much easier — no miscommunications, no arguments, no need to over-explain yourself to a spouse who you swear must have heard you wrong. Perfect, Positive communication! But we all know that usually doesn’t happen. And why is that? It’s because you speak through, and your spouse listens through different filters. We all talk through and receive through our own filters, and they are governed by our: Some of our Communication Filters Individual personalities The way we communicate Previous [...]

How to be Assertive with Wants and Needs in Your Relationship

2021-01-19T23:18:08+00:00Attitude, Communication|

A dear friend shared with us recently that he and his wife had a significant breakthrough in improving their communication. They’ve been married for 15 years, and both of them love each other very much. But his wife — she’s the most selfless person you’d ever meet — struggled with being assertive. Rather than ask for what she wanted and needed from him and their relationship, she stayed quiet, assuming he’d read her mind. Here’s the problem: he’s not a mind-reader, no matter how much he adores her. He was clueless about what she wanted, and she started feeling like he simply didn’t care. It wasn’t until they sat down [...]

5 Principles of Positive Communication

2020-12-31T23:49:19+00:00Communication|

Positive Communication is vital in marriage. If you don’t believe us, please read the many couples blogs we’ve posted over the years. Communication is a pivotal thread in all of them, as this is how we get to know our spouse and truly hear what their heart wants and needs. Communication is also how we fall in love, work through problems, and know when to be there for each other. Without it, the opportunity to grow and achieve a safe and connected marriage is impossible.   Jimmy Evans is a pastor who has become an authority on the power of positive communication in marriage. While he echoes many of the [...]

Are your “Marriage Attitudes” Building or Busting your Relationship?

2020-12-28T23:30:36+00:00Attitude, Communication|

They say it’s all about having the right attitude. A good attitude, whether it be toward work, life, or relationships, increases optimism, breeds success, improves communication, opens our hearts, and even helps eliminate worries and negative thinking. Basically, our attitudes dictate everything in our lives. And that includes — you guessed it — our marriage!   Having the right attitude about your marriage and your spouse, and then expressing those feelings verbally or through your actions keeps your heart open to each another every day and leads to the safe and connected marriage you deserve. There are many “right kinds of attitudes” to have if you’re going to have a [...]

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