How would you grade yourself on Self-Care?


We’ve written quite a bit about the importance of caring for yourself (or self-care) in previous blogs. And for good reason! In a marriage, caring for yourself means all the obvious things: eating healthy, getting enough exercise, being well-rested, etc. But on a deeper level, being intentional about self-care helps you achieve a healthy love for yourself so that you can then love others, too. Self-Care Caring for yourself first is not a selfish act! It’s actually the complete opposite. As you realize your feelings are being understood and matter to the people around you, you naturally relax and become more open and cooperative with others. Ask yourself right now [...]

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Everyone can use some quiet time (mindful time)!

2024-01-08T01:13:47+00:00Perspective, Self-Care|

While writing this post, I was reminded of a conversation recently where a friend was telling us about how they sent their 9-year-old son to his room for a few hours for some “quiet time.”  Quiet time is the childhood version of being mindful.  He wasn’t in trouble or anything, but apparently, the little guy was having himself a field day as he frenetically ran around the house and seemingly got into everything imaginable. Kids — gotta love em! Anyway, mom and dad clearly needed a quiet moment to themselves, and so did their son. I bring this up because this family clearly has the right idea. One of the [...]

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Secrets to great couples communication: how to self-soothe

2024-01-08T01:13:52+00:00Communication, Self-Care|

Most people have heard the term self-soothing before, but very few of them actually know how to apply it to their lives. In fact, the majority of couples we work with — especially those with communication and conflict issues — simply don’t know how to calm themselves down when their stress levels are at their max and emotions are running rampant. Think about all the times this has happened to you. You’re in the middle of an argument with your spouse, and things are getting pretty heated. You’re both saying some pretty hurtful things when you literally lose it! You can’t think straight. Breathing is irregular and shallow. Palms are [...]

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Self-care and knowing your deepest needs and beliefs


As part of our ongoing conversation about good communication, we wanted to bring up self-care once again. You may remember Susan and me writing about self-care in August. And it’s just as important to talk about now because when couples find themselves arguing too much or not connecting quite like they used to, the odds are pretty high that one or both of them has stopped taking care of themselves. And it’s hurting their marriage. Self-care means eating healthy, exercising, being independent, etc. But on a deeper level, it involves taking control of your feelings, thoughts, and emotional well-being so that you not only love yourself but love others well [...]

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Self-care and the benefits in your marriage


Some of you might remember an earlier post on The Fear Dance. It showed how fear not only keeps us from feeling emotionally safe in our marriage but also how easy it is to be too dependent on others for our happiness and fulfillment. We see it all the time — one spouse starts this unhealthy cycle, and the other follows. Well, as I was writing on self-care and the benefits it has for your marriage, it dawned on me how perfect a segue that previous post is for this conversation.   You may hear self-care and think, “That sounds selfish.” Well, yes and no. Being selfish means making others’ [...]

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