Heart

Taking personal responsibility for your thoughts and behaviors

2020-08-12T18:41:31+00:00Heart, Personal Responsibility|

As we learned last week, the first thing couples should do when they’re having issues in their relationship is to start with the heart. After all, the heart is the center of everything we do, feel, think, and desire — it should be honored and treasured. The next logical step then is to take personal responsibility for our thoughts and behaviors.   Taking personal responsibility might sound obvious on paper, but how often have you been in a heated argument and focused all your energy, anger, and emotions on what your spouse is doing or not doing? The answer is all the time!   “She started it!”  “I can’t believe [...]

Why couples should always start with the heart

2020-08-12T17:52:18+00:00Communication, Heart, Uncategorized|

Marriage is a gift from God. But no one said it was easy, even for those of us who think we have it all figured out. You know the feeling — one minute, everything is hunky-dory, and a shining example of a safe and connected marriage and the next, one or both of you is upset. There can be some really complicated “stuff” that got you to this point, and what makes matters worse is that even if you are both committed to working through it, you aren’t always sure where to start.  Most often we don't start with the heart. Here’s a tip from yours truly: couples should always [...]

Healthy Marriage Patterns: Mastering Emotional Communication

2020-05-28T22:59:18+00:00Emotion, Heart|

We've covered a lot of ground on unhealthy marriage patterns in our last few blog posts. From introducing you to the fear dance to understanding the good and bad of building walls and the importance of genuinely caring for your spouse, we've learned that it's critical to break negative cycles — both as individuals and couples — to have a healthy marriage. At the heart of this entire conversation is the determining factor in our ability to make healthy choices — the ability or inability to understand each other and be better at emotional communication fully.   Emotions are the Voice of the Heart We love the saying above from [...]

What does every heart really desire?

2020-02-24T22:06:09+00:00Heart, Intimacy, Uncategorized|

If you’ve been following our blog, especially over the past month, you’ve probably noticed we’ve written a lot about the heart. Not the physical, pumping organ inside your chest but more about how couples need to treat each other’s heart as a treasure that must be honored and protected. The heart is at the center of everything we feel, think, and desire deep down — and what condition it’s in determines the quality of every marriage. So what does every heart really desire?   “Our lives are shaped by the things we desire.” — Thomas Merton   In their book, The Seven Desires of Every Heart, Mark and Debra Laaser [...]

Work Talk vs. Heart Talk: Avoiding Miscommunication In Your Marriage

2020-02-20T02:07:06+00:00Communication, Heart|

A husband and his wife are sitting on the couch talking about their day when the wife says, “You wouldn’t believe what my boss did to me today!” She continues explaining her horrible experience, and, wanting to help, he rattles off solution after solution. He thinks that he’s hubby of the year right now, but to his surprise, she gets more upset. “You don’t get it,” she says. “Quit trying to fix things!” Sound familiar? This is a classic case of work talk vs. heart talk. Work talk and heart talk are the two languages we as couples speak. Each is important to ensure great communication in a marriage, but [...]

Do you listen to your spouse’s heart when it’s talking to you?

2020-02-13T20:04:17+00:00Heart, Relationships, Uncategorized|

Couples come to me regularly to discuss issues where they don’t see eye to eye — their finances or children or, you name it. Yuck! All of us can relate to that, right? It’s all too common for us to not see situations in the same light.  Our heart on that matter is not the same. We have different movies playing in our heads. We all make meaning according to our own personality and our own circumstances we have been through. Examples of the Heart of the Matter The wife says to her husband that he spends money too frivolously, and their conflict was dragging on because he insisted that [...]

Does Being in Love Come from the Brain or Heart?

2020-01-30T22:34:12+00:00Emotion, Heart|

Most people don’t think about what is happening in their brains when they are in love. It’s all about the heart, right? After all, Cupid doesn’t shoot an arrow at your brain on Valentine’s Day — he points it at your heart! And everything that happens when you are in love, as your heart races and the mere sight of that special someone takes your breath away, can only be described as a giant ball of feel-good emotions. So, it’s natural that anyone with a brain would shout HEART if asked, “does being in love come from the brain or heart?” Do you really know why and how you love [...]

The One Thing to Make Your Spouse Feel Cherished

2018-04-06T18:13:33+00:00Care, Heart|

Life seems so complicated. We live in a world of 35,000 advertising messages a day plus who knows how many verbal and text messages from friends and family. That doesn’t take into account email!!! It’s no wonder life seems complicated. We’re in a constant battle to pare down the “noise” in our world to what’s most important. And most times it takes multiple levels of paring to get to the root of important – Cherishing our Spouse! The other day I was just trying to confirm that backups were being done on our website. It had been a few months since I looked at the backup system and something inside [...]

What’s At the Core of Every Great, & Terrible Marriage?

2018-02-06T21:32:44+00:00Heart, Relationships|

Couples need to see their relationship through the eyes of the heart. Think: What’s deeper, what’s underneath, what is really going on inside? We can’t just look at the outside, and the “what’s happening,” at the event or circumstances, or just what is being said. We have to look deeper. There is always more going on underneath. We start with the heart. A story: Phil and Brenda have been married for 15 years, have three kids, and both work. They have plenty of issues, debt and finances, parenting differences, and family of origin issues. Phil is a very friendly guy, and everyone likes him. The big issue in their relationship [...]