What does every heart really desire?

2024-01-08T01:14:49+00:00Heart, Intimacy, Uncategorized|

If you’ve been following our blog, especially over the past month, you’ve probably noticed we’ve written a lot about the heart. Not the physical, pumping organ inside your chest but more about how couples need to treat each other’s heart as a treasure that must be honored and protected. The heart is at the center of everything we feel, think, and desire deep down — and what condition it’s in determines the quality of every marriage. So what does every heart really desire?   “Our lives are shaped by the things we desire.” — Thomas Merton   In their book, The Seven Desires of Every Heart, Mark and Debra Laaser [...]

Beware of Unfulfilled Needs that spur Couples to Fight

2024-01-08T01:14:57+00:00Conflict, Intimacy|

“Our lives are shaped by our desires.”-Thomas Merton All couples fight! We have heard it most of our lives. Therapists, self-help gurus, relationship professionals, and even pastors believe it is a natural part of a couple’s life together. It’s normal. Everyone does it.  WRONG!   Learn how to fight fair! Fighting fair to resolve conflict! 8 Commandments for fighting fair!   These are only a few of the titles of well-meaning books or blogs. For sure, all couples do have conflict. But think about the meaning of the word “fight”: a violent confrontation or struggle; to attempt to harm or gain power over an adversary by blows or with weapons. [...]

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15 Simple Ways to Reignite Your Love

2024-01-08T01:14:58+00:00Intimacy, Love|

When Mike and I met in college it was unusual circumstances.  His sister was a dorm mate of mine and introduced us the first time.  She gets credit for our meeting.  However, we didn’t get to know one another until a year later in a business fraternity.  It was passion at 2nd sight you might say. Remember When... Remember how it used to be when you and your spouse first fell in love.  We were so sweet and passionate about each other. The two of us would stay out for hours, walking across campus or sitting in the dorm lobby, just getting to know one another.  We talked about so [...]

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Is Intimacy more than Sex?

2024-01-08T01:15:05+00:00Intimacy, Sex|

In his book, Soul Cravings, Erwin Raphael, McManus writes: “Sex can be the most intimate and beautiful expression of love, but we are only lying to ourselves when we act as if sex is PROOF OF LOVE.  Too many men demand sex as proof of love; too many women have given sex in hopes of love.  We live in a world of users, where we abuse each other to dull the pain of aloneness.  We all long for intimacy, and physical contact can appear as intimacy, at least for a moment.” “Too many men have demanded sex as proof of love. Too many women have given sex in hopes of [...]

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10 Surprising Ways to Increase Romance

2024-01-08T01:16:36+00:00Communication, Intimacy|

Romance is an interesting word. It conjures up all kinds of thoughts for both men and women: candlelight, soft music, longing looks. Some might even think of a walk in the park or a bike ride together. But no matter how you see it, romance is really the act of pursuing each other; it’s a longing to be with someone and acting in a way that makes that person desire to be with you. Romance before marriage is usually pretty easy—there were no kids to distract you, no pressures of finances to fight over, no annoying habits to live with. After marriage, these things start to eat away at your longing [...]

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