5 Ways Trust is Built and Maintained in a Marriage

2020-04-15T23:11:52+00:00Relationships, Trust|

So, you’ve been together with your significant other for six years and decided last October to get married. Things are going great, and both of you feel like you have the trust game down pat. Trust is the foundation of any marriage, after all, so that must mean problem solved, right? Well, yes and no. While it’s great that you trust each other, it doesn’t happen once and for all. Trust is built and then maintained in a marriage.   Last week, we laid the foundation for a series of posts on trust by answering the question: what is trust in a marriage? Now that we know what trust should [...]

6 Healthy Tips To Establish Boundaries In Your Marriage

2020-03-26T22:48:41+00:00boundaries, Relationships|

Having to sit with someone and finally get what’s been bothering us off our chest is never easy, especially when that person is our spouse. It’s funny because, in the back of our mind, we know darn right that all healthy relationships have boundaries. Boundaries keep the good in and the bad out. Yet, we agonize over what the best way is to establish boundaries in our marriage.   “Should I be assertive? But I also don’t want to offend my husband.” “How will my wife react?” “How will my words be perceived?” “I shouldn’t say anything. Maybe I should just leave well enough alone!”   Boundaries are characterized by [...]

Do you listen to your spouse’s heart when it’s talking to you?

2020-02-13T20:04:17+00:00Heart, Relationships, Uncategorized|

Couples come to me regularly to discuss issues where they don’t see eye to eye — their finances or children or, you name it. Yuck! All of us can relate to that, right? It’s all too common for us to not see situations in the same light.  Our heart on that matter is not the same. We have different movies playing in our heads. We all make meaning according to our own personality and our own circumstances we have been through. Examples of the Heart of the Matter The wife says to her husband that he spends money too frivolously, and their conflict was dragging on because he insisted that [...]

5 Ways To Fall Back In Love With Your Spouse

2020-02-04T21:51:26+00:00Love, Relationships, Uncategorized|

We all remember when we couldn’t imagine spending a millisecond away from the love of our life. We’d hang out, talk on the phone until all hours of the night, go on trips, sacrifice time for each other, buy gifts, and even make up cute nicknames. It’s an amazing feeling to be that in love! But as we’ve written before, somewhere along the way — marriage, careers, children, etc. — we settle into routines, spend less time together, and are less intentional with one another. We lose sight of the expressions of love that made us feel so good about each other.  This may make you even begin to wonder, [...]

6 Ways To Manage Emotions In A Relationship

2020-01-22T21:49:44+00:00Emotion, Relationships|

A friend confided in us recently that he was finding it increasingly difficult to deal with his wife’s emotions, which lately had more ups and downs than a rollercoaster. She’d get upset, whether it was because of him, the kids, or some outside force she expected him to know about and immediately empathize with, and he’d freeze like a deer in headlights. Sadly, he’d accuse her of being ultra-sensitive because, well, he just didn’t get what the problem was, and she’d leave the room in a huff. It was interesting that he brought all this up since we talk to couples all the time about how to manage emotions in [...]

5 Ways To Have A Safe And Connected Marriage

2020-01-16T17:19:47+00:00Relationships, Safety|

Having your heart broken because of a bad relationship is something all of us can relate to, right? Few experiences hurt more or last as long — especially when it happens more than once. And as much as we want to sit in a dark room and cry our eyes out while eating a tub of cookie dough…it does little to ease the pain. So what we end up doing is building these invisible emotional walls to protect our hearts. And sometimes, we carry those barriers into a marriage. Protecting ourselves from unsafe relationships is natural, but God created us to be open and intimate with each other. We must [...]

15 Simple Ways to Reignite Your Love

2019-11-06T01:29:01+00:00Love, Relationships, Uncategorized|

When Mike and I met in college it was unusual circumstances.  His sister was a dorm mate of mine and introduced us the first time.  She gets credit for our meeting.  However, we didn’t get to know one another until a year later in a business fraternity.  It was lust at first sight and love at 2nd sight. WHEN YOU FIRST MET - REMEMBER!! It was magical when you and your spouse first fell in love.  As a couple, we were so sweet, passionate and patient with each other. Staying out for hours, walking across campus or sitting in the dorm lobby, just getting to know one another.  We talked [...]

How to Guide for Authentic Couples to Embrace Emotions

2019-10-31T19:36:36+00:00Emotion, Relationships|

Understandably, many are not necessarily on board with the emotional intelligence wave we keep hearing about, and we keep writing about too! I certainly believe there is a place for adapting and adjusting to what life throws at you. We all must do that. Embracing emotions and being OK with the pain attached to the difficult times in our lives helps us live our lives to the fullest, protect our relationships, connect with others, and deal with conflict appropriately. When we embrace emotions, we: Manage Conflict Better while we Embrace Emotions James 4:1 tells us the reason we fight is because of our "desires that battle within." We all have legitimate desires [...]

How to Safely Forgive my Spouse

2019-08-20T19:42:03+00:00Foregiveness, Relationships|

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi To forgive is one of the hardest things we do. The process can be so misunderstood and yet it is so necessary. Why should I be forgiving when the other person is the one who has inflicted pain on me? A really good question! But first, let’s look at what it is and what forgiveness means. Webster's Definition of Forgiveness To give up resentment Stop being angry with Pardon Give up all claim to punish Overlook Cancel a debt Another way to look at forgiveness is to see it as a step toward re-establishing an [...]

Retirement and How It May Affect Your Marriage

2018-07-23T18:33:33+00:00Expectations, Relationships|

Retirement is a huge subject of concern for 10,000 Baby Boomers who turn 65 every day and have hit or are about to transition to this next stage of life. As a couple, there are some basic relationship guidelines that can help you both prepare for this stage and make the move less stressful. It may even make retirement fun. I know lots of couples who have made the transition (maybe not super smoothly), and have grown closer as a couple as they learned to thrive in this new stage of life. Good Things about Retirement: 1) More time together to pursue common interests (travel, family, sports, hobbies) 2) A [...]

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