If you ask any woman how well she thinks she’d do on an emotional intelligence pop quiz, she’d probably say, “Ha! I imagine I’d score somewhere near the top.” Ask her husband the same thing, and he’d likely say, “Contrary to popular belief, guys are more emotionally intelligent than you think. And that includes me.”
Great! So let’s find out! Oh, wait — you mean there’s a quiz for that? Yes! There’s actually several.
We published an emotional intelligence pop quiz a few years ago on our blog and included it again in this post. If you’ve taken it before, let’s see what’s changed. If this is your first time, let’s see what your score really is! Because as we learned last week, emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions and those of others. Those with a high EQ or EI make emotions work for them rather than against them, but emotions travel fast and can be so complex — in marriage, work, and life — that none of us will always know what to do in the heat of the moment.
According to Walton, the average score for participants between 30-50 is 65 points. The average score for participants under 30 is 60 points. There were also no significant differences in the results for men and women, therefore we might conclude that unlike many emotions, intelligence is something that is not gender-specific.
The point of this emotional intelligence pop quiz is to give you a sense of the skills involved in EQ or EI behavior and where some of your own strengths might lie. While it tackles many common issues we face or have faced in the past, the bottom line is that all couples should improve their emotional intelligence if they want a safe and connected marriage.
If you’re still thirsty for more, Susan David P.h.D published an emotional agility quiz that is also very good and worth looking into to see how you’d do in other scenarios.
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What do you think about the quiz? Did you score higher or lower than you thought? How have you and your spouse worked toward improving each other’s emotional intelligence? What has changed in your relationship as a result? We want to hear your stories. Send us a quick email and let us know. mike@MikeandSusanDawson.com