Flooding-What is it and why is it so damaging to my Marriage?

2024-01-08T01:14:02+00:00Emotion, Flood|

We know what anger is. It’s our most volatile emotion. And while it’s natural to experience it, the damaging effects of too much anger (hurtful words, screaming, demeaning actions, aggressiveness, etc.) in our marriage can last for years and trigger intense emotions that sometimes lead to flooding. But wait. What is flooding, and why is it so damaging? You may not know the term flooding — yet! But in 70% of couples today, one or the other floods in the middle of conflict. This is very important because it is a fight or flight response to anger, which will only hurt our marriage more.   “I’ve had just about all [...]

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Is Your Brain or Body in Control when you Fight?

2024-01-08T01:14:56+00:00Emotion, Flood, Mental Health|

Emotional Flooding Might Sound Like: “We can’t even talk without a fight.” “I get so angry, I can’t see straight.” “It’s like we go from zero to sixty!” “I don’t even remember what our fight is about, but I know it was ridiculous.” Ever said these words or felt this way about your spouse or partner?   We hear from couples whose whole lives together have been characterized by these kinds of scenarios. What should just be a simple conversation or discussion becomes a fight. Couples begin to live like they are enemies and adversaries rather than friends and lovers. The problem is likely “Diffused Physiological Arousal” according to John [...]

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Is Your Brain or Body in Control when you Fight?

2024-01-08T01:17:43+00:00Emotion, Flood, Relationships|

“We can’t even talk without fighting.” “I get so angry, I can’t see straight.” “It’s like we go from zero to sixty!” “I don’t even remember what we were fighting about, but I know it was ridiculous.” Ever said these words or felt this way about your spouse or partner? We hear from couples whose whole lives together have been characterized by these words and these kinds of scenarios. What should just be a simple conversation or discussion becomes a fight. Couples begin to live like they are enemies and adversaries rather than friends and lovers. The problem is likely “Diffuse Physiological Arousal” according to John Gottman, more commonly called [...]

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