Emotion

Watch out! Anger is on the Loose.

2018-05-25T19:30:13+00:00Anger, Emotion|

A common occurrence in many couples or family interactions is anger. We generally think of it as a behavior more than an emotion. But anger is, first of all, an emotion and one that we ALL experience at one time or another. We have said it before. It is important to differentiate between the feeling of anger and the expression and behavior of anger! This feeling is also a reaction to a perceived threat. It is not just a single emotion but ranges on a continuum from annoyed, frustrated, upset, irate, furious, and enraged. In addition to a wide description of emotions, it also has many other characteristics. Definitions of [...]

There’s A World of Difference Between Throwing a Tantrum and Having Anger

2018-05-11T18:24:36+00:00Control, Emotion|

We’ve all experienced these scenes of emotion. This makes me feel extremely uncomfortable since I’m the gal who is always trying to make everything peaceful so people will get along. Blog from Seth Godin – A note to the customer who just had a meltdown. Or the bride without a perfect wedding. Perhaps the rental car customer who had to wait twenty minutes. To the boss who’s furious that the delivery wasn’t as promised. We heard you. We, as in the people you were seeking to impact, and we as in the rest of us as well, the innocent bystanders. Actually, we heard you the first time. Ever since then, [...]

Bottom-line Why you FIGHT!

2018-04-13T16:42:17+00:00Conflict, Emotion|

You’ve heard authors, TV personalities, even preachers say, “Just fight fair. We know you’re going to fight, but don’t hurt your spouse when you do.” Let’s define fighting. Fighting IS: adrenaline is pumping tempers are hot emotions are frazzled words are flying around like poisoned darts Not hurting your spouse during this type of exchange is almost impossible. Because of the highly emotional state, things typically are said that hurt your spouse and your relationship. You can disagree (i.e., have conflict – everyone has conflict) about something and have a rational conversation that leads to resolution. Just don’t let it turn into a mud-slinging, name-calling fight. Fighting isn’t going to [...]

Can shutting down Emotion help me stay in control?

2018-01-05T21:47:53+00:00Control, Emotion|

Emotions are essential to all logical decision making.  Years ago it was commonly accepted that our brain had a reasonable side and an emotional side.  The thought was that we controlled our emotions with reason.  So how can we handle our emotions and still make high level decisions? It’s the last week of the quarter and sales numbers are not where they should be according to the goals set by corporate.  The regional office is buzzing with activity as all associates are trying to close that last deal to make those corporate goals.  There’s electricity in the air that you can almost feel as everyone is digging in to find [...]

Saying “Hello” and “Goodbye” Could Energize Your Marriage

2017-10-26T17:51:54+00:00Communication, Emotion|

Scene: Wife is scraping dried pasta off the stove top from 3 days ago. The dog needs to go outside and ends up peeing on the kitchen floor. One kid in a high chair flings peas at the dog. Another kid in the living room spills something red from a sippy cup on the carpet. Husband comes in and says, “Whatcha’ been doing today?” Now, most of us girls would say, “Are you freakin’ kidding me? Can’t you see what I’m doing?”  Neither communication is the most loving or observant.  But at the moment it may be the best communication you can muster. Am I RIGHT? Fortunately, or unfortunately, however [...]

Why Desires and Conflict go Hand in Hand

2017-09-28T14:23:10+00:00Conflict, Emotion|

All couples fight! We have heard it most of our lives. Therapists, self-help gurus, relationship professionals and even pastors believe it is a natural part of a couple’s life together. It’s normal. Everyone does it. Learn how to fight fair! Fighting fair to resolve conflict! 8 Commandments for fighting fair! These are only a few of the titles of well-meaning books or blogs. For sure, all couples do have conflict. But think about the meaning of the word “fight”: a violent confrontation or struggle; to attempt to harm or gain power over an adversary by blows or with weapons. Few of us would seriously consider that couples conflicts should become [...]

8 Ways to Improve Your Intelligence!

2017-08-11T01:25:05+00:00Emotion|

The rational mind takes a few moments longer than the emotional mind to register and respond. So in an emotional situation, the heart moves first, not the head. So says Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence. But there are also emotional responses that are somewhat slower, which fester or bubble up in our thoughts first. So our thoughts or cognition more or less determine which emotions will be rising next, usually based on past experiences. In other words, our thoughts precede our feelings. […]

10 Question Quiz to Move You Ahead with Emotional Intelligence

2017-08-03T15:09:51+00:00Emotion|

Do you ever wonder, “Could I be better at what I do daily?  Is there a way for me to get ahead in life that won’t take a year of therapy?”  Possibly…. Below is a 10 question quiz which will give you an idea of the skills of Emotional Intelligence.  This is not a comprehensive picture but merely a beginning.  The subject is vast – many books have been written on this subject (also called EQ).  These questions were designed by the author of Emotional Intelligence – A Practical Guide, David Walton.  I found it fascinating and hope you do to.  This could be the “Get Ahead Ticket” you’re looking [...]

Better Relationships-Understanding Emotion and Going Deeper! (EI Part 1)

2017-07-28T13:01:56+00:00Emotion|

OOPS! Your Feelings are showing! Ever been in a conversation with your spouse and before you know it the tears are just flowing. Or their face turns red and the anger and escalation just pours out! Maybe the shoulders slump and the face goes down. Now your partner is leaving the room in a hurry. Can you relate? What’s happening? In situations like these we usually are aware of the actions or behaviors our partners exhibit. But we rarely perceive the emotions that are being experienced, much less understand what is really taking place deeper inside our partner. Often while working with couples, as they process difficult experiences together, some [...]

The Key to Crushing Conflict

2017-06-19T14:57:08+00:00Conflict, Emotion|

I have always loved pithy little sayings, cute quips and wise proverbs. One of the things I’ve noticed most of them have in common is that they are generally very telling about our humanity. And they also have a lot to say about how we talk and act toward each other! A wise spouse shows how smart they really are, by saying little; And a spouse who is understanding, controls their temper! Now that’s my version of Proverbs 17:27 as it relates to understanding first, then advice; an essential key to conflict for couples if they want to be self-controlled, not fight, and actually accomplish something together when they have [...]

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