How do you see yourself? It’s a random question, I know. But seriously — take a hard look at how you see yourself. Do you see yourself as a confident person or someone who isn’t quite sure who they are and who they want to be? Do you see yourself through God’s eyes? Who are you spiritually? While many people feel good about where they’re at in life, others have incredibly low self-esteem and bounce back and forth in terms of their general view of themselves.
These are questions that I’ve asked many of my clients over the years. And a lot of times, they’re taken aback by them. Why? Because most people don’t consciously reflect on, and answer these questions for themselves. As a result, they don’t see their true value and all the things they are really good at or enjoy doing.
Instead of building themselves up, they see themselves as “less than.”
“The real difficulty is to overcome how
you think about yourself.” — Maya Angelou
Take a hard look at how you see yourself and ask …
- What do I want? — What are my goals, dreams, and desires of my heart?
- Are there changes I would like to see in my relationships?
- What does God say I am? — How do I see myself spiritually? What does God in scripture say about me, to me, and for me?
- Who do I want to be? — How do I integrate who I am, what I want, and how God sees me to make changes in my life?
From there, you can practice these self-confidence tips. These self-confidence boosters are a way to give yourself credit for your efforts and begin feeling good about yourself. They can help you to change your life.
Practice Confidence and Self-Image
Focus on what you are good at. When your sense of self-worth becomes shaky, many times, it is because you are focusing on your flaws. It’s kind of like being stuck on a disappointing television program – you sit there complaining, but it doesn’t occur to you to change the channel! When dwelling on your flaws, change the channel in your mind and focus on your strengths and successes.
Visualize success. When self-doubt creeps in, picture in your mind a positive outcome. Be positive and successful in your thoughts and attitudes. “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Act “as if” you are already confident. Similar to visualization, believe you are confident and successful. Imitate people you admire who are very confident. As you act as if you feel confident, you may find that you start feeling confident.
Replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk. Negative self-talk is a bad habit that has to be broken. When you hear yourself telling yourself, “I’m too stupid to do that,” or “I never do anything right,” or “I’m never going to get anywhere,” stop the tape playing in your head. Replace it with a positive thought, such as, “I can learn to do that,” or “I can work on changing that.” Positive thinking takes practice, but keep in mind that negative thinking is a learned behavior. The Apostle Paul said to “take every thought captive.” In other words, focus on what God says about my identity, not what “I” think.
Give yourself a pat on the back for each small success. We often forget to celebrate the wins or the good things in our life. Instead, we often just move on to the next task or challenge. Occasionally, we must stop and celebrate. A celebration can be as small as mental appreciation or gratefulness for your gifts, or it can be sharing with a friend or loved one about your success.
Break down goals into attainable pieces. If you tell yourself you want to write a book this year, that’s a big goal that you may or may not reach. But if you set a goal of writing 500 words a day, that is an attainable goal and a self-confidence booster as you reach it.
Learn something new. Take a pottery class or learn to grow fruit trees. How about Tai Chi or sign language? Yoga? Spin class? Challenging yourself to learn something new and then succeeding at it will give your self-confidence a lift.
Smile. If you spend the next 24 hours smiling at strangers, a lot of people will smile back. Every returned smile will boost your confidence. Smiling is another example of asking “as if.” If you act as if you feel happy, you start feeling happier.
Your self-image is how you evaluate your own life. It’s also how
you feel about your job, relationships, and where you’re going.
Questions about Confidence and Self-Image
- Do I have harsh or negative opinions about myself?
- Do I fear being rejected?
- Can I accept myself the way I am?
- Can I express my feelings?
- What percentage of the time do I worry too much about what other people think of me?
All we are saying here is that by taking a hard look at how you see yourself and transitioning to seeing yourself as God sees you, you will improve your confidence and self-image. Both your confidence and self-image have to be treated like a treasure.
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Did we leave anything out? What are some ways you are focusing on your confidence? How has that benefitted your marriage? Please send us a quick email and help us keep this conversation going at Mike@MikeandSusanDawson.com.