Couples need to periodically reflect on the good times in their marriage. It benefits them to remember the characteristics of their partner that they admire and respect. This helps them go back in time, past the more difficult events and circumstances in their lives together. It helps them focus on the more positive traits. Men and women both can tell you what it is they like about their partner, and what attributes make up a great relationship. How do we know?  

 Because we ask them!  

All couples have strengths in their relationship and enjoyable qualities. We know this from the standard questions we ask every couple. It doesn’t mean there aren’t problems, conflict and stress in their lives. But it does mean that even through difficult or hard times, they can still recall and tell you the positive and good things they encounter. All of the answers aren’t exactly the same, but they all follow a pretty typical pattern. Read on to find out what couples say stand out in their partner and marriages. 

 What is great in marriage? 


 First impressions of your spouse? What qualities did you see? 

  • Attractive (She was beautiful, good looking. He was handsome) 
  • Responsible, stable  
  • Fun to be with 
  • Humorous 
  • Treated me well, cared for me 
  • Wanted to spend time with me 
  • Made me feel important 
  • Really liked me 

 What was your dating era like? What made you want to commit to this person? 

  • Spent a lot of time together 
  • Had fun 
  • Talked a lot 
  • Really became great friends 
  • Passion and romance 
  • In love 
  • Had a lot in common 
  • Felt safe  

 Stand out Memories of Past Years? What is a good time for you as a couple? 

  • Vacations and travel 
  • Raising our kids 
  • Dates alone and with other couple friends 
  • Shared activities/hobbies  
  • Working on projects together 

What makes a great relationship work? Traits and Attributes for GREAT MARRIAGE? 

  • Trust 
  • Commitment 
  • Faithfulness 
  • Friendship 
  • Humor 
  • Fun together 
  • Mutual respect 
  • Love and affection 
  • Not arguing/fighting 
  • Spending time together 
  • Talking with each other 
  • Being on the same page parenting the kids 

 What about your marriage? 

 Are your responses to the above questions similar? It is interesting that many of the same characteristics couples find important in the beginning, are the same as what they believe make relationships work well throughout their life span together. These are the traits and actions we can continually nurture so we can feel a sense of satisfaction and meaning with our spouses. Take some time to reflect on and remember the positive things you share together. Make some adjustments. Add back in the characteristics you may have let go of over the years. And, make a great marriage! 

Tell us what you admire most about your spouse in the comment box below!