Soft Start vs. Harsh Start and Improving Your Interactions

2024-01-08T01:14:00+00:00Communication, Conflict|

A wife is sitting on the couch as her husband walks in the front door after being at the golf course all day. Before he can speak, she says, “You are always golfing with your friends! I’ve been home alone all day, and you didn’t call once.” Naturally, the husband feels attacked — even though he knows she’s right — and an argument ensues. Sound familiar? Of course it does. But is there a better way of handling this? Absolutely. It’s a little something called soft start vs. harsh start.   Soft start vs. harsh start are two ways to go about getting your point across when you’re upset. But [...]

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Saying “Hello” and “Goodbye” Could Energize Your Marriage

2024-01-08T01:16:57+00:00Communication, Emotion|

Scene: Wife is scraping dried pasta off the stove top from 3 days ago. The dog needs to go outside and ends up peeing on the kitchen floor. One kid in a high chair flings peas at the dog. Another kid in the living room spills something red from a sippy cup on the carpet. Husband comes in and says, “Whatcha’ been doing today?” Now, most of us girls would say, “Are you freakin’ kidding me? Can’t you see what I’m doing?”  Neither communication is the most loving or observant.  But at the moment it may be the best communication you can muster. Am I RIGHT? Fortunately, or unfortunately, however [...]

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Respond and Validate FIRST!

2024-01-08T01:17:48+00:00Communication|

Ever start a good conversation with your partner, then out of nowhere it seems like it goes bad? Guess what? You are not alone. What is almost certainly missing is a simple respond and validate. There are very simple keys to having great conversations that do not escalate, go negative, or just go nowhere. Most couples who have not deliberately worked on their communication styles together get into (at least one of) the traps of MIS-communication: • They talk about the event or the “what happened.” In other words, they talk about who did what, who said what, and the “thing” that happened. This often leads to a lot of [...]

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