We’ve all experienced these scenes of emotion. This makes me feel extremely uncomfortable since I’m the gal who is always trying to make everything peaceful so people will get along.
Blog from Seth Godin –
A note to the customer who just had a meltdown. Or the bride without a perfect wedding. Perhaps the rental car customer who had to wait twenty minutes. To the boss who’s furious that the delivery wasn’t as promised.
We heard you. We, as in the people you were seeking to impact, and we as in the rest of us as well, the innocent bystanders.
Actually, we heard you the first time. Ever since then, the only information that’s being communicated is about you, not the people you’re angry with.
You’re demonstrating your privilege. (Because you need to have plenty of resources in order to waste so many on an emotional, non-productive tirade.)
You’re demonstrating your entitlement.
You’re demonstrating a surprising lack of self-control.
Toddlers have tantrums. Adults should solve problems.
And you’re demonstrating your fear, most of all. Fear that fuels a narrative of being unheard. The fear that you’re not good enough and that this might be the last chance you get to make everything exactly perfect.
Working with the outside world is an act of communication and mutual respect. You deserve to be heard, but you don’t have a right to have a tantrum.
I think this blog is genius. Seth Godin writes daily to impart wisdom, humor, and a different perspective. Sometimes we get all 3 of these in the same serving. I couldn’t help but share the above observation with you since it so beautifully illustrates the:
Difference Between Emotion and Behavior
We all have emotions. All of us have ALL of them from the positive ones to the negative ones – we have them all. The difference between the average Joe as depicted above and those who are more emotionally intelligent is that we don’t have to act on every emotion we have.
Sometimes you just need to:
- Acknowledge that you have an emotion.
It could be anything from joy, peace, anger, disgust, surprise, fear, trust…
- Recognize the source of the emotion.
“I’m feeling this way because my Mom always cooked this meal when I was feeling fearful.” “I’m feeling anxious because when people fight it reminds me of the way my old boss used to treat my co-workers.”
- Decide how you’ll deal with it.
If it’s a positive and pleasant emotion, then enjoy the good feelings that come along with it. If it’s more of a negative, then you must decide how you will react. Just because you are angry doesn’t mean you have to behave like a sleep-deprived two-year-old in the middle of a melt-down.
- Deal with it.
Do whatever it is you’re going to do with that emotion.
You could share it with someone.
Perhaps you go to the gym and workout instead of taking the frustration out on your spouse.
Write about your feelings and try to work through them on your own.
So many more options…
- Move on.
Continue taking the next step in life.
We all have emotions that come at us daily from all sides.
Choose how you’ll ACT instead of just REACTING.
This will raise the level of respect you get from others and the respect you feel for yourself.