Assumptions Archives ⋆ Mike and Susan Dawson

Mind-Reading could be Destroying your Marriage

Mind-reading and making assumptions about your partner’s motivations, intentions, and feelings can be enormously destructive. Wow — that was a pretty heavy way to open a blog post, but it’s true. And it’s something we couples do all the time. Clueless Mind-Reading It begins with a seemingly harmless decision by one spouse — for example, they choose to play golf with the guys or go on a walk alone. At first, it’s no big deal. But after it happens a few more times, the other spouse interprets it as, “Oh, he (or she) doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore.” The worst part is that none of these feelings [...]

What are the Labels I’m Stamping on My Spouse?

michaeldawsonlpc@gmail.com2020-12-31T20:35:31+00:00Assumptions, Expectations|

Sometimes, I wish I could crawl inside Susan’s head to see everything she’s thinking and feeling. I’m sure she’d say the same about me. But even after all these years of being happily married, we can’t completely know each other — and that’s OKAY! Let’s just say we keep each other on our toes! However, many couples become so desperate to “know” their spouse that they mind-read and unintentionally create negative labels (or schemas) that can really hurt a relationship. As we learned in a previous blog, many couples have expectations or assumptions about each other, and we carry those around for a very long time — to the point [...]