Mind-Reading could be Destroying your Marriage

2022-02-18T23:54:13+00:00Assumptions, Blame|

Mind-reading and making assumptions about your partner’s motivations, intentions, and feelings can be enormously destructive. Wow — that was a pretty heavy way to open a blog post, but it’s true. And it’s something we couples do all the time. Clueless Mind-Reading It begins with a seemingly harmless decision by one spouse — for example, they choose to play golf with the guys or go on a walk alone. At first, it’s no big deal. But after it happens a few more times, the other spouse interprets it as, “Oh, he (or she) doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore.” The worst part is that none of these feelings [...]

Marriage Setbacks You Need to Know

2019-09-15T20:23:58+00:00Blame, Connection|

My dad had his private pilot's license when I was growing up and I was always fascinated and scared to death to fly with him.  He seemed unsure about different aspects of getting the plane off the ground.  My kid's memory pictures him covering his checklist 5 times where more experienced pilots were good with one run through.  He was a CPA, so every box needed to be checked and then double-checked.  I could have viewed this as a setback but because I expected it, it was annoyingly comforting. Listening to the tower and their instructions to change headings and altitude always seemed confusing.  I never really could understand what [...]

Am I a Victim or Just Blaming Someone So I can Shirk Responsibility?

2017-12-28T22:55:35+00:00Blame, Communication|

When we blame others for situations and circumstance in our lives, we give up!  Rather, we give up the right to make a change.  When the right to change is gone, there is no more hope of something different. Not long ago I got really frustrated with a perceived problem.  This is really a very 1st world issue.  We live in a lovely suburb neighborhood with curbed streets and sidewalks and yards.  In our part of town the houses are on pretty small lots and very close together.  Our neighborhood is also blessed with lots of growing families with teenage kids who are learning to drive and getting cars of [...]

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