I was recently working on a blog for Mike. We were finding a picture to portray couples who connect and communicate well with each other. So I searched our photo software using “connected couples.” Wow, that was an eye-opener. 90% of the pictures that came back were couples using electronics together. It seems, that at least in the eyes of the photographer or according to the ones who define the photo’s “search words” that “connected” couples are connected by technology. While that is true in a technical sense, we know that people do not find true relational connection by using their phone. Either while at the dinner table or sitting in front of their laptop watching Game of Thrones. While we all benefit from how extremely accessible and portable technology and entertainment have become, I would put my flag in the ground and say, “scrolling through your phone while at the dinner table with your spouse – IS NOT CONNECTING!”
Using your phone to entertain yourself instead of
talking with your spouse or your family is not building any type of relationship.
Are you SCREAMING – I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU?
If you’re always glued to a screen when you’re with people you care about then the message is loud and clear, YOU AREN’T AS INTERESTING TO ME AS MY FRIENDS, MY FRIENDS FRIENDS, OR THE MOST RECENT CUTE PUPPY POST ON [PICK YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA].
At the Dawson household and office, we use tech all day. That’s how we do a majority of our business. Being “online” is a great and super useful part of our lives. Our mobile tech gives us flexibility and availability. It is great that our blog shows up weekly on your phone no matter where you are in the world. However, none of this replaces or outpaces the richer, more meaningful work of developing relationships face-to-face.
BETTER CONNECTION SUGGESTIONS:
- Turn your phone off for an hour or two when you get home from work. Reconnect with the people you actually share your life with and disconnect from the day of making a living. We all need some decompression time and getting away from our tech can help facilitate that.
- Make a habit of using time in the car with your spouse to discuss something new that you learned in the past week.
- Make sure you have a place in your home where you connect daily. Some friends of ours connect at their kitchen table, others on the patio with a cup of coffee.
- Use rituals of connection to make each other feel important and cared for.
- Calendar times where you and your partner take time for just each other. Call this date night or a weekend staycation without the kids, but make a practice of getting out of the rut of the day-to-day, week-to-week drudge to play and have fun.
- Make time for Heart Talk where you have a little space to talk about deep needs and desires, hopes and dreams. Getting to know your partner and getting to be known by them plays a huge part in our personal identity and self-worth.
“Between our Laughs, Long Talks, Stupid Fights and Jokes ….. I Fell in Love.”
Let us encourage you to be a little less tech connected when trying to be more connected with your spouse. The payoffs over the short and long haul will be huge. Make a pact to help one another overcome your dependence on technology as entertainment.
This actually happened to Mike and me just last week. Were standing in line at a restaurant both with our phones out checking messages. REALLY!!!??? We looked at each other and both put them away and TALKED!
Pull out a deck of cards, a board game or something to do outside, and explore life – a little less tech.