fight Archives ⋆ Mike and Susan Dawson

Why Desires and Conflict go Hand in Hand

All couples fight! We have heard it most of our lives. Therapists, self-help gurus, relationship professionals and even pastors believe it is a natural part of a couple’s life together. It’s normal. Everyone does it. Learn how to fight fair! Fighting fair to resolve conflict! 8 Commandments for fighting fair! These are only a few of the titles of well-meaning books or blogs. For sure, all couples do have conflict. But think about the meaning of the word “fight”: a violent confrontation or struggle; to attempt to harm or gain power over an adversary by blows or with weapons. Few of us would seriously consider that couples conflicts should become [...]

Is Your Brain or Body in Control when you Fight?

michaeldawsonlpc@gmail.com2020-03-30T23:31:10+00:00Emotion, Flood, Relationships|

“We can’t even talk without fighting.” “I get so angry, I can’t see straight.” “It’s like we go from zero to sixty!” “I don’t even remember what we were fighting about, but I know it was ridiculous.” Ever said these words or felt this way about your spouse or partner? We hear from couples whose whole lives together have been characterized by these words and these kinds of scenarios. What should just be a simple conversation or discussion becomes a fight. Couples begin to live like they are enemies and adversaries rather than friends and lovers. The problem is likely “Diffuse Physiological Arousal” according to John Gottman, more commonly called [...]