feelings Archives ⋆ Mike and Susan Dawson

Emotional intelligence and why we need more in our marriage

michaeldawsonlpc@gmail.com2024-01-08T01:14:11+00:00Emotion|

Raise your hand if you did a double-take when you heard the term emotional intelligence for the first time. I mean, who can be emotional and intelligent at the same time, especially when you consider emotions travel at warp speed? One minute, everything is fine between you and your spouse, and the next, she’s crying, you’re yelling, and neither of you has a clue what just happened, whose fault it is, or the wherewithal to understand where each other is coming from. While emotional intelligence sounds foreign, the importance of it is more obvious than you think. Emotional intelligence is the ability to make your emotions work for you rather [...]

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Work Talk vs. Heart Talk: Avoiding Miscommunication In Your Marriage

michaeldawsonlpc@gmail.com2024-01-08T01:14:49+00:00Communication, Heart|

A husband and his wife are sitting on the couch talking about their day when the wife says, “You wouldn’t believe what my boss did to me today!” She continues explaining her horrible experience, and, wanting to help, he rattles off solution after solution. He thinks that he’s hubby of the year right now, but to his surprise, she gets more upset. “You don’t get it,” she says. “Quit trying to fix things!” Sound familiar? This is a classic case of work talk vs. heart talk. Work talk and heart talk are the two languages we as couples speak. Each is important to ensure great communication in a marriage, but [...]

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Astonishing Power and Benefits of a Safe Marriage

michaeldawsonlpc@gmail.com2024-01-08T01:15:10+00:00Communication, Safety|

A safe relationship. You might not know exactly what I mean by safety, but I bet you know what an unsafe relationship feels like. Do you have THAT person in your mind? The person that makes you feel scared, closed off, or even unimportant? Is that unsafe person your spouse? If so, ok, we have work to do. Hang in there. If that unsafe person is not your spouse, hang in too. There is a huge opportunity to learn and practice some skills that will help other relationships in your life AND protect your marriage. If you are going to thrive, your marriage must remain as a safe environment. What [...]

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8 Ways to Improve Your Intelligence!

michaeldawsonlpc@gmail.com2024-01-08T01:17:33+00:00Emotion|

The rational mind takes a few moments longer than the emotional mind to register and respond. So in an emotional situation, the heart moves first, not the head. So says Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence. But there are also emotional responses that are somewhat slower, which fester or bubble up in our thoughts first. So our thoughts or cognition more or less determine which emotions will be rising next, usually based on past experiences. In other words, our thoughts precede our feelings. […]

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Better Relationships-Understanding Emotion and Going Deeper! (EI Part 1)

michaeldawsonlpc@gmail.com2024-01-08T01:17:35+00:00Emotion|

OOPS! Your Feelings are showing! Ever been in a conversation with your spouse and before you know it the tears are just flowing. Or their face turns red and the anger and escalation just pours out! Maybe the shoulders slump and the face goes down. Now your partner is leaving the room in a hurry. Can you relate? What’s happening? In situations like these we usually are aware of the actions or behaviors our partners exhibit. But we rarely perceive the emotions that are being experienced, much less understand what is really taking place deeper inside our partner. Often while working with couples, as they process difficult experiences together, some [...]

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The How-To Guide for Work Talk vs. Heart Talk

michaeldawsonlpc@gmail.com2024-01-08T01:17:47+00:00Communication|

Do you ever find yourself trying to communicate with your spouse and they just aren’t hearing what you’re saying? It’s like we’re speaking two different languages! The old joke goes that a wife calls her husband around 4 in the afternoon and says, “Hey, can you pick up a gallon of milk?” Husband says, “Sure, it’s only about 8 lbs.” Waaa Waaa. What we have here is a clear miscommunication. There are two different languages we speak as couples. Work Talk and Heart Talk. WORK TALK: Work Talk is the task oriented, schedule driven, let’s get stuff done kind of communication that can help make a weekly schedule. Work Talk [...]

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Falling Back INTO Love!

michaeldawsonlpc@gmail.com2024-01-08T01:17:54+00:00Relationships|

How often have your heard someone say, “I love him/her, but I’m not IN love anymore”? Or, maybe you’ve said this, and have gone through these thoughts and feelings yourself. Did you know that this is a common experience that many couples have in their marriage? Seasons like this can feel hopeless. And while we are in this state, because our feelings seem so strong, our emotions seem like the only truth; we can’t grasp that our feelings might and in fact can change. We cannot even picture being in love with this person again. It feels like and seems like our love is lost and it cannot be regained. [...]

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