One Essential Relationship Hack Everyone Should Know

2017-06-13T20:47:12+00:00Communication, Relationships|

Ask anyone what great qualities a healthy relationship has in common and they will give you a list such as honesty, kindness, love, trust, commitment, fun, and many others. The majority would say there is nothing more important for a couple than their communication. As a matter of fact, couples having difficulties will tell you “we just don’t communicate.”  Communication is a broad topic, and it is really the quality and type of information that is most important and how you say it to each other. Remember: How you talk with each other will always be more important than what you talk about!  Now there are communication tools and tricks [...]

4 Strategies for Courageous Change

2017-03-20T16:29:44+00:00Change|

Do you ever dig up a shrub in your yard or empty a plant pot on your patio and not refill it immediately with another plant or soil? What happens in a few days? On my patio the hole will be filled with debris, leaves and maybe a few bugs in a very short time. The hole doesn’t stay empty; it fills up with whatever is swirling around in the breeze. Our lives are much like this. When our lives are functional but not as productive as we’d like, we may decide to make changes. When we decide to “get rid” of something that’s not working so well then it [...]

The “Movie Theater” Attitude for Couples

2019-09-25T19:59:28+00:00Relationships|

We recently went to the movies, and when we came out, Susan said, “That was a good movie, I enjoyed it. It was romantic, but at times also sad.” I thought to myself, “Really? What movie did she see?” It was a great movie! On that, we agreed. But my first thoughts about it were that it was full of action and suspense. What just happened? Now, we both went to the same movie. We heard the same words and saw the same images. We listened to the same soundtrack, accompanying the same actors saying the same words. But we had two completely different interpretations. In life and apparently in [...]

All Emotions are Appropriate, but not All Behaviors.

2017-12-27T20:00:27+00:00Emotion|

“You’re just being emotional” “You’re so emotional,you’re out of control” “People just use their emotions to get what they want” “Just be rational and think about it” Sound familiar? Years ago it was commonly accepted that our brain had a reasonable side and an emotional side; and some still believe that today. The idea was that we can control our emotions using reason. It’s the emotion vs. reason idea. Not True. We know today that the brain is integrated with emotion and reason, even in the Cerebral Cortex. Without emotion, higher-level problem solving does not happen very well. John Gottman says the “sense of the matter” is essential in problem [...]

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