Generosity can Predict your Marriage Success!

2021-09-05T19:11:55+00:00Attitude, Generosity|

Close your eyes and take a few seconds to think about a wonderfully generous gesture your spouse has done for you. Was it the time they offered to give you a little back rub while watching the evening news? How about that time they got up early and grabbed you your favorite latte from Starbucks? Or, they saved the last slice of pizza for you? How did this small act of generosity make you feel inside? Did it make you feel loved … accepted … warm … cherished … valued? Generosity has that effect on all of us, right? Through our actions — even the smallest of gestures like the [...]

Transform your Communication: Determine if this is Work Talk or Heart Talk

2021-08-29T19:50:59+00:00Communication|

Couples struggle with miscommunications all the time, and one of the big reasons why is because we fail to understand what language our partner is speaking. No, we’re not talking about Spanish vs. English or French vs. Chinese — though it certainly can feel that way sometimes. What we’re talking about is Work Talk vs. Heart Talk. Below is a quick breakdown of each: Work Talk This is the task-oriented, schedule-driven, let’s-get-stuff-done kind of communication that can help make a weekly schedule. It sounds like this: “Let’s divide and conquer this TO-DO list. You go to the grocery and pick up the cleaning. I’ll fill up the car and take [...]

6 Keys or Secrets to Great Couple Communication

2021-03-03T17:54:34+00:00Communication|

We’ve thrown a lot at you over the last few weeks and months about great couple communication. Specifically, what it should look like, how to talk through conflict when it inevitably happens, and, of course, how all of this fits into the bigger picture of having a safe and connected marriage. Say it with us one more time — positive communication is vital in marriage! It’s the only way we can truly get to know our spouse and truly respond to each other’s wants and needs.   “Two things can destroy any relationship: unrealistic expectations and poor communication.” — unknown author   Keys to Great Couple Communication Susan and I [...]

Putting good things into your marriage: Fondness and admiration, heart and emotional talk, meeting emotional needs

2020-09-22T18:27:20+00:00Care, Emotion|

As a counselor, I see love mainly through our actions and the words we use to show someone value and importance. In other words, it’s all about putting forth the effort — putting good things into your marriage. We can scream to the mountaintops that we love someone, but if the behaviors (fondness and admiration) don’t match or are non-existent, then their needs won’t be met. Our needs won’t be met, either. And if that happens, our sense of being in love diminishes. And, well, no one wants that, right?   We started a blog conversation two weeks ago to share different ways to create and maintain healthy marriages. The [...]

Work Talk vs. Heart Talk: Avoiding Miscommunication In Your Marriage

2020-02-20T02:07:06+00:00Communication, Heart|

A husband and his wife are sitting on the couch talking about their day when the wife says, “You wouldn’t believe what my boss did to me today!” She continues explaining her horrible experience, and, wanting to help, he rattles off solution after solution. He thinks that he’s hubby of the year right now, but to his surprise, she gets more upset. “You don’t get it,” she says. “Quit trying to fix things!” Sound familiar? This is a classic case of work talk vs. heart talk. Work talk and heart talk are the two languages we as couples speak. Each is important to ensure great communication in a marriage, but [...]

5 More Superhero Themes to Great Relationships

2019-04-26T17:40:49+00:00Communication, Connection|

Last week we said that all couples share lots of similarities when it comes to conflicts and problems in their connected relationships. Couples fall into the same types of habits over time. In part one we looked at 5 of the top themes that couples who are in stable, happy relationships have in common, they: • Are not “ok with fighting” • Don’t fall into the “communication traps” • Have “safe” relationships • Talk and try to understand at a “deeper level” • “Repair” miscommunications or arguments Let’s take a look at some more of the positive patterns or themes couples demonstrate when they maintain close, connected relationships with one [...]

Go to Top