Attitude

The First Hidden Secret of Great Communication

2019-04-17T19:52:03+00:00Attitude, Communication|

Last time we made these discoveries regarding couples engaging in great communication: (here are the Cliff Notes) Effective communication requires skills developed with practice and perfected through trial and error! Communication is real when there is win-win, and teamwork Effective communication is when we listen to and speak with the heart. We must allow the feelings of our spouse to “touch” us. Creating a sense of safety and openness builds trust in the relationship. The goal is to fully understand one another at the emotional level! Beginning communication with problem solving can be a waste of time We must learn to differentiate between issues and events   But there are [...]

Communication: It’s the WORDS & the HOW

2019-04-03T14:25:18+00:00Attitude, Communication|

If you are like most couples, when you are having difficulties you say “We just aren’t communicating. Guess what? That is almost true. It is not that you’re not communicating. It is that the words you use toward each other, or don’t use, and how you use them that is the real culprit.   Susan and I recently led a pre-marital class at our church. One week we had been asked to discuss communication. And it ends up people really are interested and feel that it is a real problem. But what ended up as the focus of discussion in the class was not about the same old techniques, like [...]

Apologize Even When You’ve Done Nothing Wrong!

2018-12-01T03:02:02+00:00Attitude|

I had a friend who approached her husband with an issue not too long ago. She related to me she was calm, kind, communicated well and “did everything right.” She said he got defensive and said he was hurt by what she said to him. And so of course, then they proceeded to argue. “What else could I have done? I just don’t know how to talk to him sometimes.” My answer was: “Well, did you apologize? “What?” “Did you apologize? Did you say you were sorry?’ “What? Why would I do that? I didn’t do anything wrong!” I said, “could you just say you were sorry his feelings were [...]

The Definitive Guide to Success in Life

2017-09-07T23:47:05+00:00Attitude, Success|

I don’t know how many couples I have said it to: the key to making your marriage ‘work’ is willingness! It’s not researched data yet, but my experience working with individuals and couples would show that those who have an open attitude and a willingness to try will result in success. When people have a strong desire to make their relationships better, it rarely ever has to do with their personality, skills, or intelligence. The capacity to make relationships great is not “rocket science” or overly complicated. Competence is not the issue. The skills and types of intelligence necessary for healthy relationships, and even rebuilding and healing a relationship, can [...]