Are you and your spouse stuck in the Crazy Cycle?

2021-06-16T00:45:02+00:00Love, Respect|

As we’ve learned over the past couple of weeks, a wife has one important need — to feel loved. Conversely, a husband has his own important need that must be met — to feel respected. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has researched, taught, and written about this fact for more than 40 years, and he believes that this love and respect cycle continues uninterrupted until each of these needs is met. This interaction is known as the Crazy Cycle, and it shows how important it is for the man to love his wife and the wife to respect her husband. Without those basic essentials, they cannot be happy, content, and confident about [...]

Understanding The Father’s Heart

2021-05-31T17:16:02+00:00Identity, Relationships|

Following up on our blog from last week on prayer, Susan and I wanted to share a powerful lesson from Valley Creek Church called The Father’s Heart. So many times, couples forget who they are and get caught up in what they have TO DO and what God wants them TO DO that they begin to lose sight of their identity and purpose. In other words, who they are, and who they have been created to be. This visual below and the script that goes with it are a great way of reminding us that we shouldn’t be thinking in terms of “earning” our way into God’s presence or in [...]

Why You Need to Celebrate!

2019-04-17T20:08:10+00:00Connection|

What went well in your relationship with your spouse last week? Are you aware? Can you remember? I am giving myself a challenge this year to “practice what I preach.” And I am hoping you take that challenge with me. Recently Susan has been reading me a number of things from her 5 year journal of fun things we have done in the past. Places we have gone, fun things we have done with family or friends or important events that happened in our lives. It reminded me that we need to be aware of the good things in our lives. It also reminded me it is how I begin [...]

Am I a Victim or Just Blaming Someone So I can Shirk Responsibility?

2017-12-28T22:55:35+00:00Blame, Communication|

When we blame others for situations and circumstance in our lives, we give up!  Rather, we give up the right to make a change.  When the right to change is gone, there is no more hope of something different. Not long ago I got really frustrated with a perceived problem.  This is really a very 1st world issue.  We live in a lovely suburb neighborhood with curbed streets and sidewalks and yards.  In our part of town the houses are on pretty small lots and very close together.  Our neighborhood is also blessed with lots of growing families with teenage kids who are learning to drive and getting cars of [...]

One Essential Relationship Hack Everyone Should Know

2017-06-13T20:47:12+00:00Communication, Relationships|

Ask anyone what great qualities a healthy relationship has in common and they will give you a list such as honesty, kindness, love, trust, commitment, fun, and many others. The majority would say there is nothing more important for a couple than their communication. As a matter of fact, couples having difficulties will tell you “we just don’t communicate.”  Communication is a broad topic, and it is really the quality and type of information that is most important and how you say it to each other. Remember: How you talk with each other will always be more important than what you talk about!  Now there are communication tools and tricks [...]

Are you just Existing Like Roommates?

2019-09-25T19:06:57+00:00Relationships|

Are you living like roommates instead of having the intimate, close relationship you want with your spouse? There are lots of reasons why we grow apart. When Mike and I were young marrieds with a little one it was easy to do the necessary communications (work talk) to make the household functional without stopping to talk about where we were emotionally. Expressing emotions can be hard for some people, especially when you’re stretched thin by the demands of work, family, community, and other responsibilities. Trying to carve out time with your spouse to talk about deep things may even make them nervous or anxious, which creates a barrier of its [...]

Forgiveness-Who is it Really For?

2019-09-25T21:49:17+00:00Foregiveness|

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi To forgive is one of the hardest things we do. The process can be so misunderstood, and yet it is so necessary. Why should I be forgiving when the other person is the one who has inflicted pain on me? An excellent question! But first, let’s look at what it is and what forgiveness means. Webster’s says: To give up resentment Stop being angry with Pardon Give up all claim to punish Overlook Cancel a debt Another way to look at forgiveness is to see it as a step toward re-establishing an intimate relationship!! The [...]

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