Retirement and How It May Affect Your Marriage

2024-01-08T01:16:38-06:00Expectations, Relationships|

Retirement is a huge subject of concern for 10,000 Baby Boomers who turn 65 every day and have hit or are about to transition to this next stage of life. As a couple, there are some basic relationship guidelines that can help you both prepare for this stage and make the move less stressful. It may even make retirement fun. I know lots of couples who have made the transition (maybe not super smoothly), and have grown closer as a couple as they learned to thrive in this new stage of life. Good Things about Retirement: 1) More time together to pursue common interests (travel, family, sports, hobbies) 2) A [...]

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Couples Say These Doable Things = Great Marriage! We Agree!

2024-01-08T01:16:39-06:00Marriage, Relationships|

Couples need to periodically reflect on the good times in their marriage. It benefits them to remember the characteristics of their partner that they admire and respect. This helps them go back in time, past the more difficult events and circumstances in their lives together. It helps them focus on the more positive traits. Men and women both can tell you what it is they like about their partner, and what attributes make up a great relationship. How do we know?    Because we ask them!   All couples have strengths in their relationship and enjoyable qualities. We know this from the standard questions we ask every couple. It doesn’t mean there aren’t problems, conflict and stress in their lives. But it does mean that [...]

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One Essential Step Toward Getting to Know Your Spouse Better

2024-01-08T01:16:45-06:00Marriage, Relationships|

With all the buzz these days about each new phase of Artificial Intelligence it’s easy to get anxious about where software will take-over next for humans. Google is revolutionizing the audio synthesis world using Tacotron 2. This computer-generated speech is virtually indistinguishable from the human voice. There are some perceived advantages to this text-to-voice synthesis I’m sure. Boring jobs can be replaced by recorded information. Think about Siri and Alexa and how this in home AI revolution has changed in just a few years. No need to type your question into Google, just ask one of the AI girls the question of the moment. That technology was unheard of just [...]

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Relationship Altering Questions of Trust

2024-01-08T01:16:48-06:00Relationships|

It has been a personal belief of mine that no two people are perfectly suited for each other only. In other words, there isn’t this “one perfect person somewhere out there in the universe” that you have to find. Rather, by learning skills, developing tools, and ‘doing the right things,’ couples can have a satisfying relationship. This belief is also the theory in the research of many marriage and relationship experts. Why then, do some couples learn these abilities and skills, and others just can’t put them into practice, or they resist doing them? The answer appears to be TRUST. In “The Science of Trust” author and researcher John Gottman [...]

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What’s At the Core of Every Great, & Terrible Marriage?

2024-01-08T01:16:50-06:00Heart, Relationships|

Couples need to see their relationship through the eyes of the heart. Think: What’s deeper, what’s underneath, what is really going on inside? We can’t just look at the outside, and the “what’s happening,” at the event or circumstances, or just what is being said. We have to look deeper. There is always more going on underneath. We start with the heart. A story: Phil and Brenda have been married for 15 years, have three kids, and both work. They have plenty of issues, debt and finances, parenting differences, and family of origin issues. Phil is a very friendly guy, and everyone likes him. The big issue in their relationship [...]

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Behaviors of Love-Are you Busting or Building?

2024-01-08T01:16:55-06:00Love, Relationships|

How do you describe love? Ask ten people and you will get 10 different answers to this question about love. They will range from: A feeling Something deep and mysterious An emotion Actions you do A place that can be painful and you need to guard Lost it, long for, and must have it But most would agree LOVE IS certainly profound, multifaceted and mysterious. LOVE’S ASSOCIATIONS WITH FEELINGS As a counselor, I see love mainly through the actions in how we treat others in relationships, and also the words we use to show others value and importance. Now love itself may not be a feeling; but there are certainly [...]

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15 Steps to Recognize Unsafe Relationships and Protect Yourself

2024-01-08T01:16:58-06:00Relationships|

Handling difficult situations is often distressing. It can be just plain hard on us. Many times we have fears or doubts about how we will be perceived. What’s the best way to handle an issue or, how to be assertive and take a stand but not offend those relationships.  Or we may wonder how to confront without attacking. But sometimes in these situations, it is the people we are dealing with who are the real cause of our distress. Some people are just unsafe. Think about the friend who leaves us when the going gets tough. The family member who speaks “the truth,” but there is no love that goes [...]

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20 Simple Ways to Make Your Wife Feel Cherished

2024-01-08T01:16:59-06:00Care, Cherish, Relationships|

Do you ever wish you had paid it forward just a little more with your wife? Given a little more attention to that conversation or request for some help. Sometimes life gives you just that opportunity to help your wife feel more cherished.  If you’re running a little short on inspiration, here’s your cheat sheet to CHERISH YOUR WIFE! If you’re a wife and want your hubby to read this, print the list and just leave it lying around. Maybe he’ll take the hint. Better yet, check out the blog, “20 Ways to Make Your Hubby Feel Loved and Respected”. Implement a few of those ideas, and he might come [...]

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5 Habits of Mind for Healthy Relationships! (Part 2)

2024-01-08T01:17:29-06:00Relationships|

Good mental health can be illusive! And our thoughts and perceptions of events or words strongly influence our emotions and behaviors Last week we said that how we interpret or give meaning to events, circumstances or conversations with others can determine how we feel and act. Our emotions and behaviors do not depend on these events by themselves, but by practicing healthy mental habits we can We also looked at the first 2 of 5 mental habits couples can practice in order to improve their relationships and influence their partner for a more positive and healthy connection:  Habit 1: Choices! Change the Self Talk Our choices of our thoughts about [...]

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5 Habits of Mind for Healthy Relationships! (Part 1)

2024-01-08T01:17:30-06:00Relationships|

Good mental health! It’s a statement we hear quite often, but the reality of what really constitutes it is sometimes illusive. For most of us, the interplay of our thinking, emotions and behaviors must be taken into account for good mental health. It is often our misunderstanding of the interaction of these three that can cause some conflict, confusion, or distress.  People’s thoughts and perceptions of events or words strongly influence their emotions and behaviors. […]

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