Are your words working for or against your relationship?

2020-12-11T17:24:55+00:00Communication|

Everyone has heard this proverb: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I can remember my mother telling me that when other kids teased me on the playground, and occasionally, it made me feel better. As we get older, though, we realize that well-intentioned line isn’t really true. Words do matter. They have the power to hurt or build someone up. So I’ve got to ask you, are the words you use working for or against your relationship? Most couples experiencing problems in their marriage might say, “We just aren’t communicating.” The reality is that it is the words you use or don’t use [...]

Healthy Marriage Patterns: Mastering Emotional Communication

2020-05-28T22:59:18+00:00Emotion, Heart|

We've covered a lot of ground on unhealthy marriage patterns in our last few blog posts. From introducing you to the fear dance to understanding the good and bad of building walls and the importance of genuinely caring for your spouse, we've learned that it's critical to break negative cycles — both as individuals and couples — to have a healthy marriage. At the heart of this entire conversation is the determining factor in our ability to make healthy choices — the ability or inability to understand each other and be better at emotional communication fully.   Emotions are the Voice of the Heart We love the saying above from [...]

Trust in a marriage: How to build a friendship that lasts

2020-04-22T17:27:30+00:00Friendship, Trust|

We hear people who are deeply in love say all the time, “My spouse is my best friend!” Great! That’s the way it should be. We should be best friends, from the very early “puppy love” stage of our relationship all the way through our gray-hair years and beyond. Friendship is one of those core things necessary to build trust in a longterm, committed relationship. In our previous two blog posts, we touched on what trust is and how trust can be built and maintained — which includes exhibiting deep friendships. The goal of this article is to expand on the friendship conversation. There’s a lot packed into this post, [...]

Marriage How To Essentials for Relationship Safety

2019-08-02T13:46:32+00:00Care, Safety|

  We examined what a safe marriage might look or sound like; and what skills we can learn and practice to help that most important relationship in our lives. What if we are going to thrive? Our marriages or other close relationships must remain a safe environment. We aren’t talking about physical, but emotional and relational safety.  Evaluate Your Marriage  If you haven’t done this yet, evaluate how your marriage stacks up to what we said emotional and relational safety sounds like. Such as: My feelings, ideas, and concerns matter to my spouse We honor one another. Anger is not out of control. I don’t feel judged but understood. Discover [...]

One Essential Relationship Hack Everyone Should Know

2017-06-13T20:47:12+00:00Communication, Relationships|

Ask anyone what great qualities a healthy relationship has in common and they will give you a list such as honesty, kindness, love, trust, commitment, fun, and many others. The majority would say there is nothing more important for a couple than their communication. As a matter of fact, couples having difficulties will tell you “we just don’t communicate.”  Communication is a broad topic, and it is really the quality and type of information that is most important and how you say it to each other. Remember: How you talk with each other will always be more important than what you talk about!  Now there are communication tools and tricks [...]

Safety is a Must for Healthy Relationships

2018-01-30T16:12:34+00:00Relationships, Safety|

A safe relationship. You might not know exactly what I mean by that, but I bet you sure know what an unsafe relationship feels like. Are you already thinking of that person? The person that makes you feel scared, closed off, or even unimportant? Is that unsafe person your spouse? If so, ok, we have work to do. Hang in there. If that unsafe person is not your spouse, hang in too. There is a huge opportunity to learn and practice some skills that will help other relationships in your life AND protect your marriage. If you are going to thrive, your marriage must remain as a safe environment. What [...]

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