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Beware of Unfulfilled Needs that spur Couples to Fight

Glenn Kimball2024-09-19T09:59:05-05:00Conflict, Intimacy|

“Our lives are shaped by our desires.”-Thomas Merton All couples fight! We have heard it most of our lives. Therapists, self-help gurus, relationship professionals, and even pastors believe it is a natural part of a couple’s life together. It’s normal. Everyone does it. WRONG! Learn how to fight fair! Fighting fair to resolve conflict! 8 Commandments for fighting fair! These are only a few of the titles of well-meaning books or blogs. For sure, all couples do have conflict. But think about the meaning of the word “fight”: a violent confrontation or struggle; to attempt to harm or gain power over an adversary by blows or with weapons. [...]

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How to Safely Forgive my Spouse

Glenn Kimball2024-09-19T10:06:38-05:00Foregiveness, Relationships|

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi To forgive is one of the hardest things we do. The process can be so misunderstood and yet it is so necessary. Why should I be forgiving when the other person is the one who has inflicted pain on me? A really good question! But first, let’s look at what it is and what forgiveness means. Webster's Definition of Forgiveness To give up resentment Stop being angry with Pardon Give up all claim to punish Overlook Cancel a debt Another way to look at forgiveness is to see it as a step toward re-establishing an [...]

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15 Simple Ways to Reignite Your Love

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:14:58-06:00Intimacy, Love|

When Mike and I met in college it was unusual circumstances. His sister was a dorm mate of mine and introduced us the first time. She gets credit for our meeting. However, we didn’t get to know one another until a year later in a business fraternity. It was passion at 2nd sight you might say. Remember When... Remember how it used to be when you and your spouse first fell in love. We were so sweet and passionate about each other. The two of us would stay out for hours, walking across campus or sitting in the dorm lobby, just getting to know one another. We talked about so [...]

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Health Bonanza of True Marriage Happiness

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:14:58-06:00Uncategorized|

I’m sure you have heard many times that wealth, fame and working harder really doesn’t lead to happiness. Most of us know that logically, although we continue to strive diligently for some of these. But, did you know “loneliness kills; that it is toxic to us?” Would you believe that living in a high conflict marriage is terrible for your health? Did you know a great deal of your brain health and functioning relies on you being in a good relationship? It actually “protects” your brain. The “clearest message” that came out of a 75-year Harvard study is that: “Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.” Robert Waldinger directed [...]

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Marriage: The How To Essentials for Relationship Safety

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:14:59-06:00Care, Safety|

We examined what a safe marriage might look or sound like; and what skills we can learn and practice to help that most important relationship in our lives. What if we are going to thrive? Our marriages or other close relationships must remain a safe environment. We aren’t talking about physical, but emotional and relational safety. Evaluate Your Marriage If you haven’t done this yet, evaluate how your marriage stacks up to what we said emotional and relational safety sounds like. Such as: My feelings, ideas, and concerns matter to my spouse We honor one another. Anger is not out of control. I don’t feel judged but understood. Discover [...]

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What Lightning Bolts are you Ignoring in your Marriage?

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:14:59-06:00Conflict, Emotion|

We recently had the wonderful family cruise, in the Eastern Caribbean. There’s really nothing quite like spending quality time (with no electronics) with people you love. But there was one experience that caught me off guard and may have been one of my most important (enlightening) experiences on the trip. STRANGE NOISES The last night of the cruise, Mike and I had laid down to go to sleep, bags packed, next day clothes and toothbrushes ready for early morning departure. I was reading a bit before turning off the light and kept hearing this strange noise. I couldn’t identify it AND it just kept happening. There wasn’t really any rhythm [...]

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3 Habits that may be Stressing out your Spouse

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:15:00-06:00Emotion, Stress|

Dana thought that her husband Phil was much more generous with his ex-wife than he’d ever been with her. Although Dana and Phil had been married for several years, Dana worried that Phil just didn’t love her and she felt like a second-class-citizen. In her mind, she’d just never been treated as well as Phil’s ex. Dana felt angry. But instead of bringing this worry up to Phil in a calm and non-threatening way or even just blasting him with her feelings of being less than, she kept her mouth shut, to avoid making the situation worse. Dana believed that she knew exactly what Phil was thinking and had made [...]

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3 Boosters for Better Mental Health

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:15:01-06:00Mental Health|

Characteristics of Mental Health Mental health is more than just the absence of mental illness. It includes how you feel about yourself and how you adjust to life events. However, the National Mental Health Association cites 10 characteristics of people who are mentally healthy. They feel good about themselves most of the time Usually, they do not become overwhelmed by emotions, such as fear, anger, love, jealousy, guilt, or anxiety. Have lasting and satisfying personal relationships. Feel comfortable with other people. Can laugh at themselves and with others. Have respect for themselves and for others even if there are differences. Able to accept life’s disappointments. Can meet life’s demands and [...]

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5 Habits for Good Mental Health

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:15:01-06:00Mental Health, Uncategorized|

Good mental health! It’s a statement we hear quite often, but the reality of what really constitutes it is sometimes illusive. For most of us, the interplay of our thinking, emotions and behaviors must be taken into account for good mental health. It is often our misunderstanding of the interaction of these three that can cause some conflict, confusion, or distress. People’s thoughts and perceptions of events or words strongly influence their emotions and behaviors. It is not a situation or one conversation that determines how we feel, but the way we interpret or give it meaning. Most of us relate how we feel about events, things and [...]

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Is my Self-Focus Hurting my Marriage?

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:15:02-06:00Identity|

There’s so much focus today on meeting our own needs and wants that it’s easy to get wrapped up in making sure that I’m taken care of. Most people I know wouldn’t tell me they are self-centered, but it creeps into my life and self-centeredness can get out of balance in a hurry. It’s a struggle to keep stability between self and self-centered. Just what are differences and similarities of my “self?” Self-Centered We can all struggle with making everything about “me” and how it effects “my” life. So, let’s look at some of the characteristics of being self-centered. I talk about myself all the time and exaggerate about how [...]

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Tools, tips and practical advice on building the relationships that matter most.