Emotion

Healthy Marriage Patterns: Mastering Emotional Communication

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:14:14-06:00Emotion, Heart|

We've covered a lot of ground on unhealthy marriage patterns in our last few blog posts. From introducing you to the fear dance to understanding the good and bad of building walls and the importance of genuinely caring for your spouse, we've learned that it's critical to break negative cycles — both as individuals and couples — to have a healthy marriage. At the heart of this entire conversation is the determining factor in our ability to make healthy choices — the ability or inability to understand each other and be better at emotional communication fully. Emotions are the Voice of the Heart We love the saying above from [...]

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Unhealthy Marriage Patterns: You Can end the Damaging Fear Dance

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:14:15-06:00Emotion, Fear|

While sitting down to write this post about unhealthy marriage patterns, I was reminded of a movie scene where an overweight man was lamenting how big he had gotten. He said, “I eat because I’m unhappy, and I’m unhappy because I eat. It’s a vicious cycle.” I bring this up because, as humans, we have a tendency to fall into all sorts of cycles or patterns in everyday life — many of which are not only damaging but can feel never-ending. A perfect example of an unhealthy marriage pattern is the damaging fear dance. As couples, we fall into well-worn patterns when our fear button gets pushed. We’ve written a [...]

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6 Ways To Manage Emotions In A Relationship

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:14:51-06:00Emotion, Relationships|

A friend confided in us recently that he was finding it increasingly difficult to deal with his wife’s emotions, which lately had more ups and downs than a rollercoaster. She’d get upset, whether it was because of him, the kids, or some outside force she expected him to know about and immediately empathize with, and he’d freeze like a deer in headlights. Sadly, he’d accuse her of being ultra-sensitive because, well, he just didn’t get what the problem was, and she’d leave the room in a huff. It was interesting that he brought all this up since we talk to couples all the time about how to manage emotions in [...]

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How to Guide for Authentic Couples to Embrace Emotions

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:14:54-06:00Emotion, Relationships|

Understandably, many are not necessarily on board with the emotional intelligence wave we keep hearing about, and we keep writing about too! I certainly believe there is a place for adapting and adjusting to what life throws at you. We all must do that. Embracing emotions and being OK with the pain attached to the difficult times in our lives helps us live our lives to the fullest, protect our relationships, connect with others, and deal with conflict appropriately. When we embrace emotions, we: Manage Conflict Better while we Embrace Emotions James 4:1 tells us the reason we fight is because of our "desires that battle within." We all have legitimate desires [...]

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Is Your Brain or Body in Control when you Fight?

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:14:56-06:00Emotion, Flood, Mental Health|

Emotional Flooding Might Sound Like: “We can’t even talk without a fight.” “I get so angry, I can’t see straight.” “It’s like we go from zero to sixty!” “I don’t even remember what our fight is about, but I know it was ridiculous.” Ever said these words or felt this way about your spouse or partner? We hear from couples whose whole lives together have been characterized by these kinds of scenarios. What should just be a simple conversation or discussion becomes a fight. Couples begin to live like they are enemies and adversaries rather than friends and lovers. The problem is likely “Diffused Physiological Arousal” according to John [...]

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What Lightning Bolts are you Ignoring in your Marriage?

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:14:59-06:00Conflict, Emotion|

We recently had the wonderful family cruise, in the Eastern Caribbean. There’s really nothing quite like spending quality time (with no electronics) with people you love. But there was one experience that caught me off guard and may have been one of my most important (enlightening) experiences on the trip. STRANGE NOISES The last night of the cruise, Mike and I had laid down to go to sleep, bags packed, next day clothes and toothbrushes ready for early morning departure. I was reading a bit before turning off the light and kept hearing this strange noise. I couldn’t identify it AND it just kept happening. There wasn’t really any rhythm [...]

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3 Habits that may be Stressing out your Spouse

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:15:00-06:00Emotion, Stress|

Dana thought that her husband Phil was much more generous with his ex-wife than he’d ever been with her. Although Dana and Phil had been married for several years, Dana worried that Phil just didn’t love her and she felt like a second-class-citizen. In her mind, she’d just never been treated as well as Phil’s ex. Dana felt angry. But instead of bringing this worry up to Phil in a calm and non-threatening way or even just blasting him with her feelings of being less than, she kept her mouth shut, to avoid making the situation worse. Dana believed that she knew exactly what Phil was thinking and had made [...]

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How to Avoid Disconnect with your Spouse, using Emotional Intelligence

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:15:03-06:00Emotion|

OOPS! Your Feelings are showing! Ever been in a conversation with your spouse and before you know it the tears are just flowing. Or their face turns red and the anger and escalation just pours out! Maybe the shoulders slump, the face goes down and now your partner is leaving the room in a hurry. Can you relate? What’s happening? In situations like these we usually are aware of the actions or behaviors our partners are exhibiting. But we rarely perceive the emotions that are being experienced, much less understand what is really taking place deeper inside our partner. Often while working with couples, as they process difficult experiences together, [...]

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The Hidden Secrets of Great Communication

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:15:04-06:00Communication, Emotion|

Effective communication requires skills that are developed through practice, and that are perfected through trial and error! Most couples who are having difficulties in their relationship feel their communication is the problem. But verbal communication is complex. Misunderstandings are common and normal. We all need patience and practice to become great communicators. Real communication happens when there is winning, and teamwork. Winning is finding and implementing solutions that both people can feel good about! This takes an open mind, good attitudes toward each other and plenty of sacrifice and compromise. Do you consider you and your spouse a “team”? If so, then day-to-day life is teamwork! Teamwork means there [...]

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Pathways to Emotional Denial or Emotional Health

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:15:06-06:00Emotion, Identity|

Just the other day, I was wondering how I go from “something happening” to “getting mad”, at warp speed. Do you ever feel this way? Made me want to explore this lightening speed emotional roller coaster so maybe I could prevent saying or doing things that I regret later. So, I went to my immediate expert – Mike Dawson to talk about how this happens in our human brains and how, perhaps, understanding the process might help keep my foot out of my mouth… Mike explained the way the brain process works this way. First you have an event, something that happens, then you think about how you’ll react to [...]

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