Expectations

Best Gift You Can Give This Year: Flexibility

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:12:50-06:00Attitude, Expectations|

Am I off my rocker to think that the holidays used to be a time when the hustle and bustle of everyday life slowed to a crawl? Don’t get me wrong — Christmas is still a joyous time of the year, and we all look forward to spending it with the people we love. But our world today seems like it is moving faster and faster, and more often than not, holiday life is just as hectic and chaotic as the rest of the year. As a result, the anxiety and rush of life make us feel like we can’t afford to slow down and enjoy the season. Being “in [...]

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What are the Labels I’m Stamping on My Spouse?

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:13:57-06:00Assumptions, Expectations|

Sometimes, I wish I could crawl inside Susan’s head to see everything she’s thinking and feeling. I’m sure she’d say the same about me. But even after all these years of being happily married, we can’t completely know each other — and that’s OKAY! Let’s just say we keep each other on our toes! However, many couples become so desperate to “know” their spouse that they mind-read and unintentionally create negative labels (or schemas) that can really hurt a relationship. As we learned in a previous blog, many couples have expectations or assumptions about each other, and we carry those around for a very long time — to the point [...]

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How Could My Expectations set my Spouse up for Failure?

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:13:59-06:00Communication, Expectations|

One thing I see with couples, regardless of whether they’re recently married or have been together for years, is that they build up quite a few expectations and assumptions about each other. While some of that is okay, the majority of those assumptions are unrealistic and lead to a greater chance of disappointment and frustration that will hurt the marriage. A perfect example is a story I like to tell about a newlywed couple who both come from very different backgrounds. The wife grew up in a family where her father was Mr. Fit It. It didn’t matter if a door latch was broken or the lawnmower wouldn’t start. He [...]

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We’ve All Experienced Loss in the Last 3 Months. But What Have We Gained?

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:14:13-06:00Expectations, Focus|

When the COVID-19 warnings ramped up in early March, most of us were leery about what was going on but, for the most part, remained optimistic that it was nothing more than a temporary blip on the “that’s life-o-meter.” As time went by, though, things got serious. People got sick, everyday freedoms were limited or lost, businesses closed, and everyone was asked to stay home. If you were like us, you couldn’t even watch TV without seeing more bad news. As a result, you probably noticed overwhelming and erratic emotions swimming around in your head. One day, you’re hopeful about the future. And the next, you’re stressed to the max. [...]

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How to be Grateful for Opportunities vs. Overwhelmed by Responsibilities

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:14:53-06:00Expectations, Focus|

Let’s be honest. This time of year is hectic and you may be overwhelmed by responsibilities! Travel – Shopping – Cooking – Cleaning – Perfect Gifts – More guests in your home I get it. A lot is going on, and the expectations of the season seem to grow each year. Why do we let ourselves get sucked into this whirlwind of responsibilities? THINGS THAT SUCK US IN My family always made a huge deal of the holidays, and it wasn’t done right unless everyone was completely exhausted and broke at the beginning of the new year. As a kid, we didn’t have much, and now that I’m more financially [...]

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Retirement and How It May Affect Your Marriage

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:16:38-06:00Expectations, Relationships|

Retirement is a huge subject of concern for 10,000 Baby Boomers who turn 65 every day and have hit or are about to transition to this next stage of life. As a couple, there are some basic relationship guidelines that can help you both prepare for this stage and make the move less stressful. It may even make retirement fun. I know lots of couples who have made the transition (maybe not super smoothly), and have grown closer as a couple as they learned to thrive in this new stage of life. Good Things about Retirement: 1) More time together to pursue common interests (travel, family, sports, hobbies) 2) A [...]

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Avoid Marriage Fractures by Discussing Expectations

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:16:47-06:00Communication, Expectations|

Think of something you treasure. It might be a valuable heirloom clock, a Civil War gun passed down through the family, your great grandmother’s china, or a handkerchief given to you by your mother on your wedding day. What would your expectations be about protecting this treasure. What words would you use to describe this treasure? VALUABLE, CHERISHED, SPECIAL, ONE-OF-A-KIND SENTIMENTAL, HEIRLOOM, PRICELESS All of these words could be used to describe something you hold dear and precious. Typically we take good care of these items by keeping them safe. We store them for use on special occasions and make sure they don’t get abused. So if this is the [...]

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Imagine Your Happy Family Holiday

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:16:53-06:00Expectations, Family|

“If you knew my family you would understand”!! Recently I heard from a young woman who was sad and rather depressed about the holiday season. Her parents had passed away unexpectedly around Christmas when she young. The following years had not been happy experiences during the holidays. Her current husband’s family had some “real issues” including anger and alcohol. But family is family and she had to participate. “How can I enjoy the holidays rather than dreading them and making myself depressed”? Separation at the holidays from loved ones, a history of negative experiences and difficult people can make an otherwise joyful and celebratory holiday a real downer. But you [...]

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Make Holiday Hopes and Expectations into Realities

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:16:55-06:00Expectations, Stress|

“I hate the holidays!” It absolutely hurt my heart to hear a man say this to me not too long ago. The holidays were around the corner and every year it became a fight with his wife on where they would go, who they would see, what they were going to do and other expectations. Someone in the family was going to get their feelings hurt. And so, they would take it out on each other. Disappointment. Hurt feelings. Fights. Holiday hopes and realities can seem to be utterly opposed to each other. Our general expectations for the holiday season are excitement, a time of peace and celebration. It’s a [...]

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WEEKEND WARRIOR – Moving the To Do List to the Ta Da List

Glenn Kimball2024-01-08T01:17:36-06:00Expectations, Friendship, Strategy|

Most weekends Mike and I have some time off together. We are married, mutually responsible home owners, entrepreneurs and parents. This gives us ample opportunity each weekend to have an entire list of tasks/projects and expectations to accomplish them. Add to that: attending worship, finding social time together and enjoying friends, and we have enough to fill up way more than 2 days. Our usual MO is to make a running list of tasks and projects that we keep on the counter and mark things off of as they are completed. This method accomplishes several things: […]

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