Positive Change: More Relationships With Safe People

2024-01-08T01:12:44+00:00Safety|

It should go without saying that one of the most important parts of a full, satisfying life is our relationships with safe people. Whether it’s with our spouse, friends, or family, these relationships give us a sense of well-being and purpose. And in many ways, they can lead to a longer, healthier life mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.   So a question you need to ask for the New Year:  How many of my current relationships are with safe people who build me up?   “Safe relationships draw us closer to God, others, and help us become the real person God created us to be.”   We could all use more [...]

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Anxiety has many Facets, and we CAN Manage

2024-01-08T01:12:57+00:00Anxiety|

While sitting down to write this blog on anxiety, I was reminded of a funny quote: “People with anxiety don't have a train of thought. We have seven trains on four tracks that narrowly avoid each other when paths cross, and all the conductors are screaming.” I have no idea who penned that line, but it’s the most vivid explanation of anxiety I’ve seen to date. It starts with a laugh and ends with the truth of how real anxiety is for many folks. It’s also the least clinical explanation, which I appreciate as a marriage counselor since I try my best to know when to be serious and when [...]

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Understanding Anger and How to Handle this Volatile Emotion

2024-01-08T01:13:06+00:00Anger|

I wonder if you believe TRUST is important to your closest relationships. I bet you would say “Of Course!” Ok, then let’s talk about anger. I know that’s probably the last thing anyone wants to discuss, especially if you’re having a really good day and want to keep things happy-go-lucky. Not to mention, our library of blog posts has become a haven for plenty of practical, feel-good ways to keep your marriage safe and connected. So who wants to start the day with a downer? We certainly don’t. But whether we like it or not, a common occurrence in many couples or family interactions is anger. And it very well could [...]

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We’ve All Experienced Loss in the Last 3 Months. But What Have We Gained?

2024-01-08T01:14:13+00:00Expectations, Focus|

When the COVID-19 warnings ramped up in early March, most of us were leery about what was going on but, for the most part, remained optimistic that it was nothing more than a temporary blip on the “that’s life-o-meter.” As time went by, though, things got serious. People got sick, everyday freedoms were limited or lost, businesses closed, and everyone was asked to stay home. If you were like us, you couldn’t even watch TV without seeing more bad news. As a result, you probably noticed overwhelming and erratic emotions swimming around in your head. One day, you’re hopeful about the future. And the next, you’re stressed to the max. [...]

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Watch out! Anger is on the Loose.

2024-01-08T01:16:42+00:00Anger, Emotion|

A common occurrence in many couples or family interactions is anger. We generally think of it as a behavior more than an emotion. But anger is, first of all, an emotion and one that we ALL experience at one time or another. We have said it before. It is important to differentiate between the feeling of anger and the expression and behavior of anger! This feeling is also a reaction to a perceived threat. It is not just a single emotion but ranges on a continuum from annoyed, frustrated, upset, irate, furious, and enraged. In addition to a wide description of emotions, it also has many other characteristics. Definitions of [...]

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OOPS! Did I Push Your Buttons?

2024-01-08T01:16:44+00:00Conflict, Fear|

Do you and your spouse get into those “cycles?” Those patterns that seem to go round and round to where it feels like you just keep pushing each other’s buttons? Take heart, you are not alone! Almost all couples create cycles over time that can keep them on the proverbial roller coaster of relationships. The Fear Dance The “destructive dance” most couples get into generally stems from some source of fear. Men and women alike have basic core fears. The two most basic fears are: • Loss of power, or feeling controlled. This is usually a man’s greatest fear. Men want to feel they are good at what they do, [...]

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Is Stress Affecting Your Most Important Relationships?

2024-01-08T01:16:56+00:00Stress|

It seems like everyone has stress. But honestly, it really is a natural part of being human. When our life’s events and circumstances tax us beyond what we can cope with, stress is the result. Stressors are external events which cause an emotional or physical reaction. The impact of the things we experience depends on whether we perceive the events positively or negatively. “Psychological stress is the mismatch between an individual’s  coping skills and the demands of the environment.” – Dan McGee Conflict    Demands    Fear    Assumptions    Expectations    Time Pressures    Physical and Emotional Pain These are only a few of the components linked to our stress. They certainly cause a sense of [...]

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Could Changing the Way You Talk about Fear, Change Your Belief about Who you ARE?

2024-01-08T01:16:57+00:00Fear, Identity|

“I have fear.” There’s a common mistranslation that causes us trouble. We say, “I am afraid,” as if the fear IS us, forever. We don’t say, “I am a fever” or “I am a sore foot.” NO, in those cases, we acknowledge that it’s a temporary condition, something we have, at least for now, but won’t have forever. “Right now, I have fear about launching this project,” is quite different from, “I’m afraid.” The blog above, by Author and Blogger Seth Godin [Read Blog] caused me to really think about how I talk about myself. I find it compelling because I have used or heard these phrases used many times [...]

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How to Sharpen Focus and Increase Productivity

2024-01-08T01:17:00+00:00Change, Focus|

I have always loved space stuff and it has now showed me how to focus for increased productivity.  Everything from watching Neil Armstrong walk on the Moon (yes I was around back then) in 1969 to The Jetsons (original Saturday morning airings). I find the way the planets and solar system move and inter-relate fascinating. The recent solar eclipse was no different. Although we didn’t have a full eclipse here in Texas, it was still interesting to watch how so much about the day changed with this solar interruption. The temperature dropping, shadows changing, co-workers and neighbors all out on their lawns with the famous and now extremely cheap solar [...]

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Steps to Setting and Achieving Your Most Important Goals!

2024-01-08T01:17:53+00:00Strategy|

It’s almost impossible to begin the New Year without at least thinking about making some kind of resolution, new promise to yourself, or setting some goals. Did you achieve the plans you set last year? Can you even remember what personal goals you made a year ago? Michael Hyatt says that 25% of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions after just one week, 60% quit or give up within six months, and the average person makes the same New Year’s resolution 10 different times without success. Ouch! Change is inevitable. Change is the very essence of life itself. But most of us don’t want that change to just happen to [...]

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