The Curious Case of the Distancer and Pursuer Relationship


As we wrote in a previous blog, it’s common for couples to get stuck in dangerous patterns. One, in particular, is where they draw conclusions about each other’s words and actions — simply because they see it every day. They think they know what each other “really means,” but in reality, they don’t. The result is poor communication, which leads to hurt feelings and fights. But this is just one of many patterns or cycles that couples get stuck in. Another is the distancer and pursuer relationship.   As we dive into another new year, it’s important to recognize the many damaging patterns in our relationships that keep us from [...]

Damaging Patterns of Communicating in Conflict


Many of us like to think we’ve got our spouses figured out. After all, we’re around each other constantly, so it’s only natural that we listen, observe each other’s behavior, and remember things about each other simply because we see it every day. We recognize traits, patterns, experiences, behaviors, qualities, etc., and then draw conclusions that make us think we know what they “really mean” by their words and actions. We think we know each other better than anyone. But do we really? Furthermore, is this healthy, or are these dangerous patterns hurting our ability to communicate? Damaging Patterns As we dive into another new year, it’s important to recognize [...]

Positive Change: Protect Your Heart with Boundaries!


We’ve talked about making sure the relationships you put the most stock in are ones that build you up. Rather than tear you down, they need to be safe, give you a sense of well-being and purpose, and lead you and the other person to be better for simply being in the relationship. Above all, they need to protect your heart. Hopefully, you have plenty of those types of relationships in your life.  But if you don’t, how do you learn to protect your heart in the meantime?   “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the source of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)   “We need to be responsible [...]

Positive Change: More Relationships With Safe People


It should go without saying that one of the most important parts of a full, satisfying life is our relationships with safe people. Whether it’s with our spouse, friends, or family, these relationships give us a sense of well-being and purpose. And in many ways, they can lead to a longer, healthier life mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.   So a question you need to ask for the New Year:  How many of my current relationships are with safe people who build me up?   “Safe relationships draw us closer to God, others, and help us become the real person God created us to be.”   We could all use more [...]

Don’t Be Afraid to Change Yourself by Changing your Thinking This Year!


OK, I get it. The literalists in the room likely read the title of this blog and how it says, “Change Yourself,” and began to wonder if that’s really possible. After all, traits and moral character are pretty much set in stone. Most of your characteristics are also hard to change, and unless you get plastic surgery, it’s difficult to drastically alter how you look. So, at the end of the day, how much change are we talking about here?   Well, how about habits and behaviors, your attitude, and even your outlook on life? To piggyback off last week’s blog post, these are important steps to take if you [...]

How to Sleep Better? Tips for Positive Change!

2021-12-29T22:37:04+00:00Mental Health, Strategy, Uncategorized|

The holidays are almost over, which means many of us are thinking about New Year’s resolutions. You know — lose weight, stop smoking, spend more time with family, etc. All of these are worthy resolutions as we try to make a positive change for the new year, and if they’re on your list, please act on them. But the one that should be at the top is to sleep better. Top of your Resolutions List:  Sleep Better Wait … sleep? Yes … sleep! We all know how important quality sleep is. But it’s not surprising that so many people still don’t sleep very well — especially after the past few [...]

The Best Present Ever: Jesus!


Merry Christmas! Over the last few weeks, we've written about making it a great holiday season by adapting to the quick pace of all that’s going on around us. This includes understanding and finding real peace and thinking about how we really need to love in the holiday season. These are all important lessons for a variety of reasons. For starters, it’s great to refocus during the holidays to do things that are better for us. And by doing so, we find joy and happiness in our relationships and our day-to-day life — regardless of how hard life and our daily circumstances get. I always like to see the signs [...]

The Best Present You Can Give This Christmas: Gift of Love


When Christmas rolls around, we think of Christmas trees, multi-colored lights, parties, food, gifts under the tree, and lots of fun and laughter with friends, family, and loved ones. This is all a gift of love.  We also think of Santa Claus and children opening presents. And we think of the wise men, the star over Bethlehem, and, of course, the Virgin Mary and the baby in the manger. It’s all feel-good stuff, and we crave it. We also LOVE it. It’s during times like these that we need to remember that word — LOVE. God is the Gift of Love God IS love. And the reason baby Jesus was [...]

The Best Present You Can Give This Christmas: Peace


In last week’s post, we talked about flexibility and adaptability. These are especially important during the holidays, when, believe it or not, we’re still faced with all the things going on in our world that keeps us busy. We’re moving too fast for our own good and unable to just enjoy the moment. With that said, there’s a difference between adaptability and peace. So, how do we then find peace when our world keeps moving at such a fast pace? World Peace vs. God's Peace-which is the Best Present   There is a difference between how the world perceives or defines peace and how God defines it. The way the [...]

Best Gift You Can Give This Year: Flexibility

2021-11-05T21:12:10+00:00Attitude, Expectations|

Am I off my rocker to think that the holidays used to be a time when the hustle and bustle of everyday life slowed to a crawl? Don’t get me wrong — Christmas is still a joyous time of the year, and we all look forward to spending it with the people we love. But our world today seems like it is moving faster and faster, and more often than not, holiday life is just as hectic and chaotic as the rest of the year. As a result, the anxiety and rush of life make us feel like we can’t afford to slow down and enjoy the season. Being “in [...]

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